My Honey and I have an inside joke regarding words that begin with d-i-s. So I went online today to Mirriam-Webster to expand my ammunition, and found that this is actually a word!
discoing - dancing to disco music
September 21, 2004
September 13, 2004
September 09, 2004
Love thy neighbor!
So my Honey has been staying with me for the last three months while he looked for an apartment. Well he's finally found a great place that's clean, bright, and conveniently located about 50 steps away from me! That's right, I won't have to go far for MY booty calls!
August 29, 2004
What has gotten into me?
I mean, you see and read things that are irritating all the time, but I'm actually taking the time to share with the offenders how irked I am. I was perusing the 'talent gig' section of craigslist and I see this ad:
Female Front singer WANTED for Rock Band
Drumer and Guitarist/song writer seek female lead singer for original rock band.
Age can vary, but 18-27 is desirable. Experiance is prefered, but if you have the heart and soul all the more better. We are leaving the position open to a pretty wide selection of talent so we hope to hear from all kinds that would like to fill the position.Unspireted Uncreative, and those who have stage fright need not aply,for we WILL be out in the music public eye."COMON" Yaall it's going to be fun.We all love Music all kinds, However our main goal is get back to the roots with it. Guitars throug tube amps,hammond b3, Tight rythem section amd YOU the female with the son-ofa-bitch-ofa voice. phone calls ok. Ask for Jimmy he's Amsome!! 310-***-****.
To which I posted a reply in the 'talent gig' section of craigslist:
These guys want their Rock Chick to be "spirited" but obviously not literate. What kind of a musician can't spell rhythm? And Jimmy may be "Amsome" but he can't spell worth a shit. Rock on boneheads! Smoke another bowl.
So I get an email today from one of the 'Female Front Singer' wannabees, and she writes:
I have no professional experience however I have the spirit and the soul to fuck shit up. I am into all kinds of music. I was a singer in my past life if that helps. No I am not loony tunes. Give me a call we can discuss more. I have tattoos and piercings, I am definitaly not shy I love the stage, lights, etc. I am the life of the party and an awesome entertainer I have a little fan club at the kareoke bar. And I can spell, I am rusty on reading music but I do know how I used to play the violin no I am not a geek here's a pic see if I match with the bands image...
She also includes a few skanky images of herself, oh and her email includes the phrase 'jarzeebrawd'. Well you know I just had to put her on the right track to the appropriate people. A good deed if you will. So I kindly sent her an email:
I am not the one you want to send your information to. I was simply
replying to an ORIGINAL posting, posted by the rock band. I have no
idea who they are, I'm not even in L.A. Also, if you're going to add
specifically that you CAN spell, Kareoke is actually k-a-r-A-o-k-e.
Good luck to you, I hope you get in touch with the band, I've included
a link below to their posting with their email address for you.
Her reply: Thanks smart guy
My final reply, I'm a smart woman actually, and you're welcome.
I'm not in any way claiming that I can spell every word out there, but I think when you're trying to present yourself to be taken seriously, spellcheck for fuck's sake. Gosh I'm being such a Royal Pain in the Ass!!!!
Female Front singer WANTED for Rock Band
Drumer and Guitarist/song writer seek female lead singer for original rock band.
Age can vary, but 18-27 is desirable. Experiance is prefered, but if you have the heart and soul all the more better. We are leaving the position open to a pretty wide selection of talent so we hope to hear from all kinds that would like to fill the position.Unspireted Uncreative, and those who have stage fright need not aply,for we WILL be out in the music public eye."COMON" Yaall it's going to be fun.We all love Music all kinds, However our main goal is get back to the roots with it. Guitars throug tube amps,hammond b3, Tight rythem section amd YOU the female with the son-ofa-bitch-ofa voice. phone calls ok. Ask for Jimmy he's Amsome!! 310-***-****.
To which I posted a reply in the 'talent gig' section of craigslist:
These guys want their Rock Chick to be "spirited" but obviously not literate. What kind of a musician can't spell rhythm? And Jimmy may be "Amsome" but he can't spell worth a shit. Rock on boneheads! Smoke another bowl.
So I get an email today from one of the 'Female Front Singer' wannabees, and she writes:
I have no professional experience however I have the spirit and the soul to fuck shit up. I am into all kinds of music. I was a singer in my past life if that helps. No I am not loony tunes. Give me a call we can discuss more. I have tattoos and piercings, I am definitaly not shy I love the stage, lights, etc. I am the life of the party and an awesome entertainer I have a little fan club at the kareoke bar. And I can spell, I am rusty on reading music but I do know how I used to play the violin no I am not a geek here's a pic see if I match with the bands image...
She also includes a few skanky images of herself, oh and her email includes the phrase 'jarzeebrawd'. Well you know I just had to put her on the right track to the appropriate people. A good deed if you will. So I kindly sent her an email:
I am not the one you want to send your information to. I was simply
replying to an ORIGINAL posting, posted by the rock band. I have no
idea who they are, I'm not even in L.A. Also, if you're going to add
specifically that you CAN spell, Kareoke is actually k-a-r-A-o-k-e.
Good luck to you, I hope you get in touch with the band, I've included
a link below to their posting with their email address for you.
Her reply: Thanks smart guy
My final reply, I'm a smart woman actually, and you're welcome.
I'm not in any way claiming that I can spell every word out there, but I think when you're trying to present yourself to be taken seriously, spellcheck for fuck's sake. Gosh I'm being such a Royal Pain in the Ass!!!!
August 28, 2004
Low-balling Bastards
Last year when my honey was selling some computer and music hardware on Craigslist there were a lot of replies from people offering no more than 25% of the value of the items listed. It's really quite insulting. I mean, Goddess Bless someone for putting themselves out there in the hopes of another's generosity, but yuck fou for thinking I'm an idiot.
So Your Majesty has listed her laptop for sale on Craigslist for $700 obo. I'm ready to go MAC. And you know what they say, "Once you go MAC......." Anyhoo, I got an email from a guy named Ricky who writes, "just by chance would you be willing to trade for a 5 gig ipod i need a laptop for school thank you". I do a brief ebay search and find that a 5gb ipod is worth AT MOST $150. I couldn't help myself. My reply-"Nope, no chance of that. They go for $150 MAX on ebay. Throw in about $400 and I'll think about it. Good luck.....Ricky".
So Your Majesty has listed her laptop for sale on Craigslist for $700 obo. I'm ready to go MAC. And you know what they say, "Once you go MAC......." Anyhoo, I got an email from a guy named Ricky who writes, "just by chance would you be willing to trade for a 5 gig ipod i need a laptop for school thank you". I do a brief ebay search and find that a 5gb ipod is worth AT MOST $150. I couldn't help myself. My reply-"Nope, no chance of that. They go for $150 MAX on ebay. Throw in about $400 and I'll think about it. Good luck.....Ricky".
August 24, 2004
I have finally posted pix from Seattle. Yes, that's a picture of the Royal Tushy, what can I say, D dared me! The Museum of Glass in Tacoma was phenom including their surprisingly delicious cafe. Mt. Ranier is one of the most glorious places I've been to yet. Peaceful, crisp, clean, good ol' country livin'.
August 19, 2004
August 09, 2004
geschmackvoll
I was just telling a friend about how lucky I was, that in Berlin I got to eat at the most delicious vegetarian restaurant in the world! Be sure the click around and get to pictures of their desserts. They are "to die for"!
August 04, 2004
July 27, 2004
My feelers have been murdered
My honey and I have hit a bump in the road. You know I used to hear that relationships were "hard work" and I always thought that it would mean I'd be tolerating my S.O.'s behavior that bugged me. WAKE UP SISTER! "Hard work" means facing every ugly facet of how you deal with intimacy.
Very early last year I was so quick to boast about having a clean slate in the relationship dept. I was the happy bachelorette, but if I knew that if someone did engage me long enough to want to pursue, I had no baggage, I was ready. Okay, now I see I may have been ready to initiate, but to maintain.....
At this point I'm feeling feelings on every end of the spectrum. My heart aches, my pride is hurt, my ego has taken a hit, the little girl inside is scared, I'm angry at my failures, right now I'm labeling and sorting. I feel like I've worked so hard to be the opposite of my unemotional parents. I've tried so hard to tone down my anger and mood swings by vocalizing when I'm pissy instead of acting out, by cutting sugar out of my diet (ok truthfully let's say limiting my sugar), and to find out that my behavior yet again had prevented emotional and intimate progress, FUCK! I guess the positive side is that now that it's out in the open I can finally deal with it and move it aside, which is my intention, but a good friend had to break it to me that some other issue will rear it's ugly head in the future, and so on, and so on.....
Send thoughts of hugs my way
Very early last year I was so quick to boast about having a clean slate in the relationship dept. I was the happy bachelorette, but if I knew that if someone did engage me long enough to want to pursue, I had no baggage, I was ready. Okay, now I see I may have been ready to initiate, but to maintain.....
At this point I'm feeling feelings on every end of the spectrum. My heart aches, my pride is hurt, my ego has taken a hit, the little girl inside is scared, I'm angry at my failures, right now I'm labeling and sorting. I feel like I've worked so hard to be the opposite of my unemotional parents. I've tried so hard to tone down my anger and mood swings by vocalizing when I'm pissy instead of acting out, by cutting sugar out of my diet (ok truthfully let's say limiting my sugar), and to find out that my behavior yet again had prevented emotional and intimate progress, FUCK! I guess the positive side is that now that it's out in the open I can finally deal with it and move it aside, which is my intention, but a good friend had to break it to me that some other issue will rear it's ugly head in the future, and so on, and so on.....
Send thoughts of hugs my way
July 21, 2004
July 16, 2004
In the IRS we trust
So I did my taxes this year and I owed. Poopy. I filed a form requesting and installation plan. After two weeks I called to get the status because I hadn't heard anything via mail or phone, (very grown-up) and I was told that my request had been approved, my payments would be $25/mo, first payment due July 25th, but that my first payment needed to be for $43 as a set up fee. I sent my first payment in but forgot it had to be for $43 and sent $25. A week later I sent in a check for $18, cool, I'm caught up. I got a reminder letter today for my July 25th payment. I called and found out that because I sent in the first check so soon, it wasn't applied to my installment plan, but the balance itself. So the system hasn't seen a payment for $25, only $18, and it doesn't recognize partial payments. The woman told me that the computer system is REALLY old, and there is basically no human verification or review of the records. So I have to make a payment of $7 by the 25th to keep my account current, (and that has to be made at an IRS office because the IRS rep said if I mailed a check now it would never post to the account in the next two weeks) and then the $43 payment in August. Oh so efficient, I love it.
July 08, 2004
July 07, 2004
I was in a car that got rear ended yesterday. We were stopped at a stop light, and WHAM. It was my friend's 15th car accident, all rear endings. I was in the back seat with my friend's 10 month old. It wasn't terribly hard, no major injuries, but more than physical stress, it's really screwed with my chi. Seriously, I've been on the verge of tears since it happened and I'm in a funky haze. I'm just rattled, lethargic. Sure hope I bounce back soon, I'm supposed to fly to Chicago for D's sister's wedding on Friday. Please send happy healing thoughts my way.
July 05, 2004
Vroom Vroom
My Honey's got himself a new classy auto! Now all I need is a scarf and some really large sunglasses.
June 28, 2004
Eve's Conversation with God
"Lord, I have a problem."
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"And why is that Eve?"
"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"Man? What is that Lord?"
"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch Lord?"
"Well.....you can have him on one condition."
"And what's that Lord? "
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring..... so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret........ you know, woman to woman."
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"And why is that Eve?"
"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"Man? What is that Lord?"
"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch Lord?"
"Well.....you can have him on one condition."
"And what's that Lord? "
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring..... so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret........ you know, woman to woman."
June 18, 2004
June 07, 2004
Miss Perfect Martha Stewart gets busted for insider dealing and now THIS. Nothing’s sadder than a public fugure falling victim to ironic misfortune. Maybe KITT had a built in breathalyzer back in the day.
June 04, 2004
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