June 27, 2002

Every Little Detail
"His dick was so small, like one of those little golf pencils. I couldn't tell if he was trying to fuck me or erase me"! -Miranda Hobbes, Sex and the City

June 26, 2002

I Disavow
I recently discovered that an ex was upset over something written about him on my blog. I'm ashamed to say that at first I was more excited that I had another reader besides my devoted Aunt in Va rather than being concerned that I hurt someone's feelings. But eventually I did feel bad. I'm the queen but not the ice queen. I didn't feel bad enough to start editing my content, I use pseudonyms for crying out loud, but I will take the time to add this here little waiver:

I, the author of this blog, do hereby relieve myself of any physical, spiritual, or karmic liability for any tid-bids that I post regarding any ex-boyfriends/lovers/first dates etc. To the best of my knowledge I had only one confirmed reader, my loyal Aunt who resides on the complete opposite side of this our great U.S. of A, who has no personal connection to any mentioned parties, therefore protecting your identity. If an ex or a friend of an ex happens along my URL and figures out which nickname for which the ex is the basis, the ex at this point should deny it. Deny it until the day you die, and forever regret your involvement with me. Feel free to ignore me or glare at me the next time we cross paths.
The friend of the ex should keep this new found teasing material solely to himself and everyone the ex knows, and subtly drop snide remarks when appropriate, and give me a knowing look and a smirk the next time we cross paths.
For a select few formerly romantically involved individuals mentioned with fondness, send your majesty a gift promptly to show gratitude for the ego biscuit for which you have been tossed. Bow before me the next time we cross paths.
Menacing Muni
When I lived on Jones and Sutter, my room was the corner room right on the street. I had the #2, #3, #4 muni lines that stopped under my window on Sutter, and the #27 that stopped under my window on Jones. After about a year, the #27 became equipped with a really loud announcement for the blind stating the bus line and destination that echoed through our flat each time it made it's stop under my window. Every seven to eleven minutes I heard a mechanical female voice bellow "27 Bryant- to-Cesar Chavez". Sometimes I would think that I had heard it even when I hadn't. It was annoying as hell, but my roommate and I knew it was a necessary feature, and tried to make light of it. We would mouth along with the faceless voice and make funny faces. When I moved to the Mission a few months ago I was delighted to get away from the blasted muni line. No more shouting announcement and no more puff of thick black smoke seeping in my window every time the buses took off. A couple of weeks ago I was sitting at my desk of my new job, and I could have sworn I heard the familiar jingle of the bus's presence. I thought maybe I was having a flashback. (to be read like a war veteran)"Hi, I'm Reese and I served time on Jones and Sutter and NOW I'LL NEVER BE THE SAME"! "I can still hear the MESSAGE LOUD AND CLEAR"! I looked out of the window immediately to my left, and there stood the spewing beast. There is a stop no more than 50 feet from my window. It's tracked me down. It's relentless. It is my fate. Help me.

June 25, 2002

Full Moon Mayhem
Yeah, it was the moon, the moon made me do it! Was it me who just a week ago wrote that my life was nice and calm at the moment? The forecast has just called for flurries! My intention was just to celebrate a nice relaxing Summer Solstice weekend with the girls, honestly! Friday and Saturday night, come home early Sunday on the 10am Caltrain. BUT-I ditched work on Friday (note to self: do not give co-workers blogspot url) and rode Caltrain down with my sweet friend OB1 on Thursday night and I didn't get home until midnight on Sunday. Thursday we stayed in Santa Clara with my friend Saucy who was house sitting. We had a nice evening of gab, walked the dog, and helped Saucy get her Solstice gifts in order. She had gotten her close friends a nice Cala Lilly and handmade cards. We got up at 5am, and left these trinkets of joy on everyone's doorstep, just like little Solstice fairies. While out on our sunrise mission, there was a guy driving next to us who nearly broke his neck trying to get a closer look at 3 girls in a car. When we approached the next stop light, he moved over in the opposite lane and put his passenger window down. We stayed about 2 car lengths behind. The freaks don't just come out at night my friends.

Friday Saucy had to work so OB1 and I headed downtown for a little brunch, a little consignment shop shopping, and a nice rest in the park. Later for dinner Saucy introduced us to Charlie Hong Kong's. Not exactly traditional Asian dishes, but dirt cheap and bowl cleaning tasty. We wound up taking it easy that night and rented Ocean's Eleven which is a 90 minute non-stop visual treat for women.

Saturday a group of us went to Walnut Avenue for my favorite eggs benedict in the world, the Blackened Ahi Benedict. Scrumdiliocous. Saturday OB1 went home early because she felt like she was catching a cold. After brunch the rest of us girls went to the beach. Saucy, her roommate, Saucy's friend and me. Saucy's friends the Electrician and Weasel stopped by, the Electrician is devastatingly handsome, very Kennedyesque. Along came Super Booty Boy. Not just because he has one, but he's in the band! They're an ultra-fun 70's cover band. He's a really nice guy too, Saucy dated him a while back, but now they're friends. So he invites us to the show that night, puts us on the list, and now the girls have plans to go out dancing! I popped downtown to pick up a Super Booty worthy mini dress and borrowed Saucy's knee high black boots, I felt saucy myself. Saucy wore this outstanding clingy white satin jumpsuit with an exposed mid-driff, she was hot stuff! We had a blast getting ready, listening to dance music and drinking beer. The apartment looked like a war zone as we bolted out the door. Four fabulous girls headed out together, but we didn't wind up going home together, some of us didn't go home at all!

We went to the club and bought ourselves a beer and began chatting away with everyone around us. A guy at the bar bought me my second beer so I made small talk with him and his friend. They get up to the city a lot, but the type of clubs thy named told me they were cheeseballs. Mid conversation I looked over and recognized the Electrician from the beach earlier. Left the two guys at the bar like an ungrateful wench, and took the Electrician by the arm. "Well hello blue eyes" I greeted him. He was wearing a funky afro wig, and groovy shirt, I like a guy who gets into character. Saucy had already been chatting up some buff guy and a guy who said he was just waking up. I went upstairs to partake in a sweet clove cigarette (my first one in AGES) where I engaged in small talk with a cutie pie with Elvis sunglasses, and caught eyes with even cuter cutie pie with the hottest nostrils going. Everyone already knows about my nose fetish right? I'm walking downstairs to get back to dancing with my girls and I'm approached by a pretty Latin boy who's name I can't remember. He grabbed my hand as we pushed through the crowd towards the stage, but as I bumped into the Electrician, I let go of Latin man's hand. Am I bad or what? I'd chat with one boy while waiting for the bathroom, another while dancing, another while walking from the powder room to the dance floor, I was dizzy, I felt like a pinball. I could barely keep them straight. Saucy had several plates of her own spinning during the evening. In addition to the two from earlier she'd added a 6' 4" film maker, and Pizza Boy, a guy she's been dating for a couple of weeks showed up as well. THEN Super Booty boy decided to confess his sappy feeling to her, like I said before, the moon was in full effect.

As the band left the stage, I gave Heavenly Nostrils my number, and walked out with the Electrician. Once outside I said goodbye to Saucy who was leaving with the Pizza Boy, and the Electrician was on his cell phone getting a plan of action together for the after party. While he was on the phone and standing right next to me, the cutie with the Elvis glasses walked up and asked if I had the low down on the after gig. I said no, and he politely introduced himself to the Electrician. As soon as he walked away, the Latin guy walks up and begans asking me what my plans are for the rest of the night. He catches the Electrician's eye and sheepishly walks away. It was decided that we were just going to go back to his place since my feet were killing me (remember I'm wearing Saucy's boots and she wears about and 8 1/2 and I wear a 10), and he couldn't track down a location for the beach party. I would have been freezing anyway right? As we're walking to his truck I pass Nostrils and he grabs my free hand, looks at the Electician, and gives me one of those "I see how it is" looks. I pause long enough to tell him he should still call me and the Electrician is standing behind me mocking me, " call me, call me". So much for my furtive attempt. We walk away and the Electrician scoops me up and playfully threatens "You're asking for it". On the way to his place Heavenly Nostrils actually calls and asks what I was doing the rest of the night. I fibbed and said nothing and he said he would call me later. So we went to Electrician's apartment, he gave me the tour and the tour concluded in his bedroom. He wasn't amazing but he took direction very well. He's got a gorgeous body and the sparkliest blue eyes. The next morning we made small talk and he took me back to Saucy's. We agreed to call each other sometime although I feel like he's too young to pursue. I may call him the next time I'm in SC, he may call me when he's in the city, but I'm not terribly smitten.

Sunday I went to brunch and the beach with Saucy and she invited the film maker from the night before. He's really tall, incredibly built, super handsome, and intriguingly odd. He actually has a tattoo of Shemp of the three stooges on one arm, and a rubber duckie on the other. Saucy seemed to think he may have been more interested in me than her, but I didn't get that impression. She said if that became the case she'd encourage me to go for it so she could get the full report. Anything for the sake of research I say. While at the beach Heavenly Nostrils called and invited me to a party in Capitola. I accepted and said I would call him later to get directions. When I called I got his voice mail, so I layed down until he called back. A two hour cat nap later (I don't know why I was tired, I hadn't been up all night or anything) and I woke to him calling to say that his phone had turned off in his pocket but he wanted to see me before I left. I told him I was leaving in about 30 minutes, but he should give me a call the next time he's in the city. He may or may not, but this one is definitely too young to pursue. When I got back to work on Monday, I emailed a friend and asked him to pass along my number to his friend who I met while out dancing last week, as if I need anymore male preoccupation. He said his friend talked about me all night long. When you're hot, you're hot.

When I started this crazy blog a year ago, my first entry was a recap of ladees nite, and a line up of male prospects. Good to see the important things haven't changed!

My favorite thing today: Relishing my footloose and fancy free days
A Disgrace to Dance Music
Last night as I was doing the dishes I turned on 92.7fm, the new all dance radio station. Someone has actually mixed a dance version of The Price Is Right game show theme song. I wiggled slightly just for nostalgia sake, and then very quicky became very very sick of it. What is this world coming to?
Sign of the Times
Yesterday while rushing to get ready for work, I found a shiny new condom in one of my black loafers.

June 20, 2002

Perfect Timing
The other day I had a "challenging" day at work. After I left the den of oppression I went to my favorite ass shakin' venue and shook it for about 3 hours with some friends from my old job. It was great to be among super comfortable company. One friend is a cute Jersey Boy. He's always had a girlfriend. Then they broke up and I had a boyfriend. Now we're both single. He's not someone I would date, but we like each other and there's always been chemistry. He's moving to the East Coast on Monday. I haven't had hubba-hubba in over 2 months. He came home with me. Yay for me.

My favorite thing today:Taking advantage of a situation for what it is.

June 18, 2002

In Mixed Company
Last night I attended a dinner party of 4 straight women, 2 straight males, 2 gay males, and a lesbian. We enjoyed a savory ginger carrot soup, yummy roasted garlic on bread, a lovely salad, and sweet beer. We talked politics, religion, entertainment, and sex. There was only one person out of all of us in a relationship, boy did we talk about sex. I found out that the last car on BART is known as a gay anonymous sex scene. Most agreed that it's hard to find really skinny boys attractive. One girl said that although she has a high appreciation for the female form, she does not appreciate one on a man. One girl had a long-term with a really thin guy, like 12 year-old boy skinny. He never gained weight the whole time they were together. He worked as an IT guy, so we joked that she should have put food on his keyboard so he would have had to lick his fingers and then maybe he would have gained weight. Another girl suggested she could have asked him to lift a gallon of milk; 75 times! I admitted that I like my men a little round. I certainly date all shapes and sizes, I go for personality first. The others aren't thrilled with big boys. "Bitch tits don't do it for us" they said. I actually have a fascination with over-sized things, maybe it's just an extension of that. It takes all kinds.

My favorite thing today:Cultural diversity

June 17, 2002

Someone Else's Drama
My life’s events are at a very still point right now. In the past this made me uncomfortable. I’d get bored and wait impatiently for something to happen, for the next step. I know myself well enough to know that I enjoy the thrill of a little chaos, but I’ve grown to appreciate and cherrish down time. I believe it was my anxiousness that would actually create un-necessary drama, and when I have drama, it’s odd enough on it’s own without adding my mental fuel. This is a great time to focus outward. We spend so much of our time self absorbed, really believing that our issues are worth boo-hooing about. Looking at the big picture make some feel almost ashamed sometimes that I have the nerve to consider myself lacking in some aspect of my life. Probably not a revelation for most, but it’s what’s been going through my mind this morning so I had to get it out. So last night I got to hear a tale of someone else’s chaos. Understand I don’t get any joy from other’s confusion or pain, but I love a juicy romantic situation just as much as the next girl. Okay, a friend has had this boyfriend for a year and a half now. Totally into each other, super solid. My friend is 33, her beau is 25. A couple of months ago he decides that he wants to travel around the states on his motorcycle, find himself. She loves him and will miss him, but knows he's gotta do what he's gotta do. So he's been gone a month now, they talk every few days, and she's confident that in time they'll be together again. Then this weekend, a certain guy who she used to work with and had a secret crush on for about eight years, but who had a girlfriend the whole time so he was off limits, is now single and visiting SF. Uh-huh, she thinks the universe may be trying to tell her something. She was actually meeting with her current beau's mother for dinner last night, but was going to drop in on the visting guy before hand to welcome him to the city. We thought for sure she was going to cancel the dinner and get some hubba hubba, but alas, she made the dinner on time, and announced today that she is steadfast going to wait for her soul searching beau. Oh well, she gave us one night of intrigue!
Visual Treat
I just had the most adorable bike messenger pick up a package for us here at the firm. Turns out I met him about a year ago. He’s an ex of a friend of a friend, and I don't talk to either friend anymore so I think he’s fair play right? And I won’t even hold it against him that he is yet another man who shares the same name as a recent interlude. Q-T-Pie!

June 16, 2002

Last night I went to the DNA Lounge with a friend who just completed her Masters in Archeology, and needed to blow off some steam. I hadn't been dancing in ages, but I managed to wiggle for 4 hours non-stop. The party was put on by looq, the same group who hosts qool every Wed. at 111 Minna. Anita Lofton spun and man is she right on! I ran into a handful of people that I used to see every Wed, and had an outstanding time. So there I am with my eyes closed, moving how I do, when I hear a familiar bass line sneaking into a track. I flip through my mental cd collection and I can't place which cd it's on. Then it hits me; it's a song by my close friend's group Andain! That's my friend's voice I'm hearing in a club, watching people love the shit out of it! I knew it would happen one day, we make comments about it all the time, but I didn't realize it would be so soon, I was so proud. Let me know if anyone wants a demo cd of theirs, they're truly brilliant.

June 15, 2002

My Aunt is a Zombie From Hell
Creature Comforts. Jot this down and pick it up the next time you go to the video store or put it in your netflix queue, they have it, I looked. That is an order from your Queen! I watched it this morning for my Saturday Morning Cartoon fix. I gave myself a headache I laughed so hard!
Misty Eyed
Last night around 10:00, I heard a loud thunder-like sound outside. I dismissed it as a large truck and went on watching The Terminator. Hey I've never seen it before, and I was cherishing a night in alone. A few seconds later I heard it again. And again. So I thought, either we're being attacked and those are cannons, or more likely, it's FIREWORKS!!!!! I raced to my roof deck in my pjs in record time, and was able to enjoy over 10 minutes of glowing eye candy. If you know me, you already know fireworks are my favorite thing EVER. Anything that glows really, but fireworks are nostalgic and captivating. The last thing that my family did together, my mom, dad, siblings and me, was celebrate the 4th of July. That was back in 1988. The next day my dad left for Korea for 3 years, and my parents were divorced by the time he came back. I remember my sister describing each blast as if she were a correspondent for the blind "Oh, a greeeeeen one", "Ooooo now a BIG bluuuuuue one". My parents were lovey dovey because my dad was going to be leaving the next day. It was warm and humid, and I grinned with every burst of color.
I love the unexpected.

June 14, 2002

Dark Wonderland
I just read that they may be making a movie based on American McGee's Alice video game. Takes me back to the launch party for the game that I went to a couple of years ago. There were some amazingly creative costumes, mock turtles, mad hatters, tweedles, I was certainly in my element. That's your darling queen there dressed as her alter-ego. I wound up going on a date with the man of the hour about a week later. He was adorable, and he was funny, and he chose to go snort coke rather than continue his date with me. How was this even a decision to be made? Enjoy cute and spunky girl's company or engage in mindless chatter and get a nosebleed. Gee, let me think.

June 13, 2002

Walt Was Right
No this isn't a duplicate posting, I just had yet another small world moment last night. I went to the grocery store with the ladees to get provisions for Ladees Night, you know wine, beer, cheesecake, the usual. And who is in line behind me but Indie Kid. I met Indie Kid in November of 2000 in L.A. I went down with a friend for the weekend and we stayed with Indie Kid, who is a friend of my friend, and his business partner. They own a small independent music promotion company in New York City. I was heartbroken over the Irish Lad, but I had a fun sweaty fling with Indie Kid and it was great because we lived on opposite coasts. A couple of weeks later I was in Illinois visiting family for Thanksgiving, and Indie Kid was driving cross country back to N.Y.C., so he dropped by on his way through and stayed the night. He's really funny and adorable, my family loved him. He wasn't the kind of guy I would have dated if we had lived in the same city, but much fun nonetheless. Then, a couple of weeks later he phoned and said he was going to be in SF and wanted to know if I wanted to go to a .com launch party at The Warfield where James Brown would be performing! He came into town and stayed with me the first night and the next night was the party. We went and had a wonderful time until I kept losing track of Indie Kid only to find him in a corner somewhere with this music industry chick. Now I know we weren't exactly devoted to each other, but we had just stayed at my house the night before having hubba hubba, and I assumed it would happen again. Anyway, we went to an after party and he ignored me the whole time, I left pissed off, it was ugly. He called me the next day on his way to the airport and apologized and said he wasn't hitting on the girl, that it was just business. Yeah, okay. We emailed for the next few weeks and then that was it. So last night he's in line behind me, with the very same girl afore mentioned from the party thank you very much, we made small talk. He now lives here in the city, at the same intersection that I work at. Am I magnet for this kind of thing or does this happen to everyone? If I were inerested in him I'd say it was a sign. Instead I think the universe it trying to tell me that 3/4 of a million people does not a big city make.

My favorite thing today: Not having to work on a weekday!

June 12, 2002

First Year of Fog City Living Pt.2
Early February brought about the return of Big Head. We had passed each other on the street and then days later I received a thick envelope of writings by him inspired by me. We began emailing and before I knew it we were bed buddies again. Even though we were getting along much better this go 'round, we continued to see other people. In March I went to an art reception for a friend of a friend and was approached by a brilliant photographer for a photo shoot. I wound up with a close-up picture of myself that I actually really like. Late March I went to a friend's super fun Cowboys and Indians party where I met a dysfunctional Hungarian. Of course I didn't know he was screwed up in the beginning. He had a cute face, he was funny, very sure of himself, and said he had a great space I could use to throw a rave. It's an old National Guard Armory building that spans just about a whole square block. We originally started hanging out talking about the party, but soon we were smooching. I was still dating Big Head as well, but in May he wanted to make things exclusive and I didn't so we dramatically parted ways, declaring we would never speak to each other ever again! Soon after I discovered the Hungarian's dysfunctions. He was unreliable, dishonest, rude to strangers, and he had a girlfriend! Must have slipped his mind. That wraps up the most memorable events of the first 12 months. Year 2 coming soon to a blog near you.
Walt Was Right
It really is a small world. 785,700 people in San Francisco and the other night I went on a date with a guy who lives in the very same building as my friend Chatty. My dearest friend of 16 years with whom I lived with for over 2 years until 4 months ago. 6 degrees my friend. When I was living in my first flat here in the city, a guy moved in directly 2 floors above me who went to high school about 10 minutes from where I went to high school in VA. So how was the date you ask? Zero attraction, but a potential friend.

My favorite thing today: Raspberry honey covered almonds, mmmmm.

June 10, 2002

Back in the Land of the Eating
So yesterday was the last day of The Fast, I drank yummy fresh squeezed orange juice and ate a tangy, sweet, juicy kiwi fruit. The flavors are hitting the tip of my tongue with full force, I love it. My wonderful neighbor and I made a pot of homemade vegetable soup last night, yes you're reading the right blog, I just want to be good to my body. The soup turned out absolutely delicious, I get to get some for dinner tonight. I was so excited while making the soup, I was talking to the vegetables. When I put the soup in the container for the fridge, I leaned in and whispered "Good night sweet prince". I was giddy over soup. Little things amuse little minds my friends.

That F***ing Disclaimer
My saucy friend from Santa Cruz came to stay with me on Saturday. She was recently dumped by a guy she had been seeing for a few months. When they first met he made the infamous remark "I'm not looking for anything serious". She took note, and the 'getting to know' you began. After 3 months of hanging out about 4 times a week, having sex, going camping at Joshua Tree, countless tender moments, many romantic gestures, and meeting his mother, my friend pretty much forgot the dooming comment, and felt confident that her feelings were reciprocated. Now my friend is an amazing, amazing woman. She's independent, going to school to be a nurse (how noble), has no emotional baggage, is communicative, super funny, down right sexy, and knows what she wants. She put herself out there and told him she'd like things to go to the next level and wanted to know his thoughts. He matter of factly reminded her that he told her in the beginning he didn't want anything serious, began ignoring her, and eventually just stopped making any kind of contact. This infuriates me. How someone can tell you when they first meet you that over time they're still not going to want anything more is beyond me. Do they have a crystal ball? I don't blame people for eventually losing interest. I'm not saying that I don't understand how after months of hanging out, someone could decide that they don't want it to go further, but couldn't a default statement in the beginning be "Whatever will be will be"? Couldn't we just agree from the get go that we'll see how things go? It's like people (men as well as women use this copout so don't think this is male bashing), want to hang on to this disclaimer statement, so they set the course of things by making this ridiculous statement. Are people that cowardly, that they can't just admit after a few month that it's just not working out? Sure you don't want to be the bad guy, it's never nice hurting someone's feelings, and it's awkward getting the words out, but do it on the phone if you have to, just don't make someone feel like you're completely enveloped in them, all the while thinking if they approach you about a possible commitment, you've got you're 'get out of a relationship free' card, and they knew better, didn't you read the fine print? I'm not bitter. I go into my relationship interludes with a clean slate. I don't punish anyone for other's mistakes. But I have seen this happen all too often, and it's time we started putting ourselves out there and being honest. I consoled my friend and I hope that she gets some closure from this guy. She'll have no problem finding other men who are interested, but I understand her frustration of feeling like she misread someone. You start to question your own judgement. Well don't doubt yourself my good friend, you just happened along a bad egg. Can't we all just get along?

My favorite thing today:Raspberries, cantaloupe, and grapes.

June 06, 2002

Of Course It Is
That's been my response a lot lately when hearing a certain man's name. I just stopped dating someone who is the first person I've ever known with this particular name. Not a highly unusual name, just not so common. I had heard it probably twice in my life. Since the split less than a week ago, I've discovered the nice cashier at Trader Joe's has the same name. A friend's boyfriend has the same name. The customer support rep. for our scanner at work has the same name. The courier for our printing company has the same name. The style of chair that I received a purchase order for has the same name. The fabric that's going to hang in the master bedroom of one of our projects has the same name. The wine that I was instructed to pick up for a client has the same name.

June 05, 2002

Sit and Spin
I just saw a girl wiz by kneeling on her skateboard with her basket of laundry on the front end. That's coordination.
The First Year Of Fog City Living Pt. 1
So I moved into a flat with my dearest friend of 13 years on Jones and Sutter. She had lived in SF for about 3 years already and was going to the Academy of Art. I was completely enamored with the city. I began working for a commercial real estate firm where my office was a gray maze, but the paycheck was fat which was necessary with my rent being as much most people's mortgage back home. There were a handful of great people at the office, and I met people through my roommate Chatty. Plus my friend Shlank Dogg from VA who came out for a week visit decided to stay. We became Three's Company. I immediately immersed my self in the rave scene. Coming from smalltown USA, I liked dance music, but all I knew was mainstream. After a few months here I was familiar with local djs, international djs, I knew all the different sub-categories of trance, techno, and house. I was dancing about 4 or 5 nights a week, and rolling entirely too much. But I'm a creature of extremes, and I came here with the intention on losing my mind and taking responsibility for no one but myself for the first time in my life. I was dating The Freaky Jehovah whom I had met during an earlier visit to SF a months before. He was handsome, and funny, and we only dated for about 6 or 7 weeks because he thought I worked for the devil because I was a witch. I tried to educate him, but I couldn't tolerate his ignorance or his constant sermons. I went on a date with a man I thought was gay. I didn't know it was a date, I thought he was gay. I had met him at a party and I thought that I remembered hearing him in conversation say something about his boyfriend. Between meeting so many new people and rolling my ass off, I got him mixed up with someone else. So we went out one night, me thinking I'm hanging out with my new gay buddy, him wanting to score. He walked me home and asked if he could kiss me goodnight. My face contorted as I blurted out "I thought you were gay"?! He was offended, thinking he was acting feminine. After I re-boosted his ego and explained my confusion, peace was made. We tried hangin out again, but I wasn't interested, he was, it didn't work.

In early June I met Big Head. Both figuratively and literally. He was funny, he was romantic, he was well read, he was cute, he was (and still is) the greatest fuck of my life, and he also thought. A LOT. I'm always up for a good gabfest, but this man took philosophizing to an extreme level. We hung out for 4 months but it was a constant battle of egos. It created great drama for passionate sex, but I became irritated.

In August I participated in my first Folsom Street Fair, which was needless to say, and eye opening event. Chatty and I went topless with neat design painted on. I certainly saw aspects of S&M that I never dreamed existed. People in my office thought I was a freak for going, but we looked tame in comparison to the other "Fair Goers". October 31st I enjoyed my first San Francisco Castro Halloween. I was blown away. 250,000 people not only dressed in character, but who were their character. I rented my costume from Costumes on Haight (who now know me by name) and I was a duchess. Chatty and I had to tape my boobs together for the proper Victorian effect (cleavage brought to you by 3M), and I had this 2 foot high powdered wig that kept falling backwards, but so well worth it. In November I sat in as an extra for the film The Sculptress. It was only 2 days, but I hung out with fun people, got fed, have a story to tell, and made a date with the craft services boy. He was really funny, a real kid at heart. We hung out for 2 months, but I couldn't bring myself to kiss him because when I tried he gave me that brotherly vibe, eeewwww.

The December holiday brought about the first annual Little Orphan Christmas. There were so many young adults we knew who had no family here in the city, but wanted some form of a traditional Christmas day. So we gathered, and bought each other toys, made gourmet food, drank, smoked, and played. A week later I witnessed the turn of the century, a once in a life time event. In January I went to VA to visit my family and it confirmed I had made the right choice in moving far, far, away. My luggage was lost, I was stuck in my mother's mobile home during a blizzard, and I felt out of place.

My favorite thing today: It actually feeling like a real summer day in Fog City.

June 04, 2002

Running Out Of Steam
I've been laying low lately so I'm afraid there's not a whole lot to report today. Day 2 of The Fast so my energy level is rock bottom and I am abnormally mellow. Apparently after the 3rd day food is out of your mind. I'll belive it when I see it. I think the planetary alignment is back to normal so there is zero drama in my life again, at last. I started one of my new jobs yesterday, it seems nice and chill, it's 3 days a week there and 2 days at another that I start next week so it's variety. Someone please send food to my house. No don't. I can be strong. Okay, yeah, I want pad thai, cashew prawns, a pizza with extra cheese.... NO don't. This will all be worth it. For the love of GOD what are you waiting for? Make the call! So earlier today I had to call Hewlett Packard because our scanner quit working, and the rep. had to put me on hold. Well the person he called to get the info I needed accidentally put all 3 of us on conference so I could hear their conversation. He didn't say anything that I thought was incriminating, he told the other rep. that I was being patient and he thought I sounded cute. When he clicked back over and realized what he'd done, he said everyone was looking at him because he was beet red. Then he couldn't get the muzak to stop while we were trying to figure shipping info, and I told him it sounded like we were in an elevator together. Just then a saucy little sax number came on and we both just cracked up. "Hey baby", I cooed. "You're listening to smoooooth jazz". He chuckled and said it felt like a Pulp Fiction moment. Too silly.

My favorite thing today: Having a friend who's enduring the fast as well. Wait a minute. This was her idea and I'm suffering, what gives?

June 03, 2002

Here's the link to my Fasting Torture Blog. You may not want the updates on my colon blow meshing with my daily antics, so you can go peek over there, if you're brave!
Bottoms up!
I must admit, last night was the first time I've ever clinked mugs of laxative tea with anyone. Cheers? Day one of The Master Cleanser. This is going to be a challenge. I have friends who call me Piglet because I eat so much. I have friends who carry snacks with them when they know we're going to hang out because I become super mega horrific bitch when my blood sugar drops. My friends don't even bother to ask if I'm hungry anymore if they're entertaining the idea of a bite to eat. It's a given, I can always pack a meal away. But I figure after 28 years of packing it in, it's probably time to take out the trash. I'll spare you the details, but I'll keep you posted on my quest for a clean slate.