Nature is so divine

FANTASICAL

I was out at Norton's Vault for a co-worker's going away. I was really going to miss this person. I drank a bit of scotch. I was introduced to a man whose name I had seen on paperwork around the office but hadn't actually met. Recently I was reminded of that exchange.

Co-worker professionally: "Hi I'm Mr. Wee."

Me as if I've known him forever: "Heeeyyyyyyyy, I see your name on dockets all the tiiiiime, your name is onomatopoeia!"

Co-worker as if I hadn't spoken English: "I'm sorry?"

Me as if I'm a one woman foley department: "You know, when words are spelled like they sound, like POP! BANG! BOOOIIINNNG! Yours is WEEEEEEEEEEE! It's fun!"

Co-worker completely unamused: "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Last year I discovered I had a fan base in Sweden. Okay, maybe it was only one reader, but they do read regularly so I'd say they're a fan. I've been exposed to more Swedish cultural gems lately so I must include this in my Swedish top ten. So who's getting bumped? Sorry, Europe but this is your Final Countdown.

People get creative when they're in a bind.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh happy day, we're finally on the right track. The air seems cleaner. The spring is back in my step. Sometimes it doesn't even have to be the execution of a major change to make a shift, only the collective hope, faith, optimism and possibility of what's to come. No doubt this IS, in fact, a major change, but it began with only the suggestion that we aspire to something greater that set it in motion.

A few weeks ago I was talking with a cab driver about the state of the union and he reminded me how great our country really is. And it wasn't in a blindly loyal or superior way that I'm used to hearing. He noted we are the only country who has successfully existed with so many races and cultures blended together for over 200 years; and I agree. It may be slow going but we're continually moving forward and evolving towards equality. The cabbie added for humor that the U.S. even has an organization to save the tadpoles. How great is a nation where people are even supportive of polliwogs!

It just doesn't stop being funny to me

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused, fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

Ask not what your country can do for Jew....

Spread the word.

Another Sarah Palin zinger

Juvenile yes, but it still made me chuckle.

I'm proud to be an artist

A little giggle material for you in the middle of the day. And there's more!

Man, nothing will motivate you to clean, organize and redecorate your room like a pile of homework. I now have the most aesthetically pleasing bedroom I've ever had and I'm two weeks behind in my textile class. I needed beautiful surroundings to inspire me to create beautiful patterns. Yes, that's my reasoning!

And women get labeled as psycho?!

Take a few moments and enjoy Dimitri the Stud:Part One and Dimitri the Stud:Part Two

I’ve always believed that females were much more perceptive with social cues than men; Hazzah for women’s intuition! I dated a guy like this guy a lifetime ago, and it is equally entertaining and saddening when someone is developing the story without your participation. It amazes me when I meet people who are so self-absorbed and yet still so self-unaware that it’s imperative for them to project based purely on speculation and assumptions rather than accept reality. “It’s human nature to fill in the silence with our own insecurities” (thank you Keen Eddie) ,but sharing them with others, especially the subject of said anxiety is not healthy, effective or attractive. But their ramblings make for great YouTube and Blogger fodder you have to admit.

I had several phone numbers jotted down on my notepad at the office, and while dialing one of them I obviously included numbers from another contact because dialing 1.800.222.9100 did NOT get me to American Airlines. Gives a whole new meaning to 'Fly the Friendly Skies'! (Dial at your own risk)

Last week I discovered a coworker is a wee bit colorblind. I thought I'd be clever and create a politically correct term; Pigmentally Challenged. Turns out that phrase is already used and according to Urban Dictionary it sure doesn't mean the same thing.

I was just cleaning up all of my 'draft' posts and found this one from a couple of years ago. Late but still publish worthy!

I realize that this is a very bold declaration, claiming to be the recipient of the worst pick-up line ever uttered. I am absolutely certain that it is the worst come on I have ever heard myself, and he's had some pretty stiff competition. I spent my early twenties on the club scene of southern Virginia with five military bases within a 30 mile radius and and a questionable literacy rate, and this still beats them all. Lame, cheesy, inappropriate, even indecipherable, but nothing I've every heard compares to the absurdity of what this person asked. So here goes. After about 10 minutes of chatting with this guy and his female "friend from work' who was supposedly married to someone else but suspiciously affectionate with this guy, she excused herself to the ladies room. He leaned in and asked, "So Reese, what would you say if I wanted to do things to you that would make your pussy hurt"? So basically he threatened my vagina. But he wasn't being malicious at all. In some twisted dysfunction rationale, he actually thought that this would sound intriguing. So without batting an eye I replied "Let me make it very, VERY clear that I am in no way shape or form interested in your offer. But I have to ask you, sociologically, what in the WORLD would make you think it was okay to say that to me"? He explained that he likes to live life by his own rules, and I seemed so upbeat and open that he got the impression I would be okay with it. I told him he needed to work on his perception skills, and in the future to never, ever, EVER use the words hurt and pussy in the same sentence EVER again!

I was eating in a restaurant last night and the tv overhead had a show on called "The Insider" and they were showing a segment called "In Depth" and it was all about celebrity virgins. Eewwwwww.

I stayed in this weekend and did some home inprovements including refinishing this old bed I bought from a girl on Craigslist a few months ago. I don't have before pix, but it had a traditional cherry wood finish and when I saw it I immediately went in the Auntie Mame direction, now I LOVE it!

Last week while I was in LA I got see my friend's Cereus plant bloom, which only blooms one night a year. We got artsy fartsy with a flashlight and captured this beautiful shot!

Spying on Humanity: One of my SF observations.

I just read Tim Burton is working on his version of Alice in Wonderland. I cannot WAIT!

Well Mr.T and I are a couple no more. It's a sad relief. It would be easier if we were wrong for each other in every way, but we're compatible in so many ways; just not the ways to sustain a healthy relationship. It's great that we recognized it before it turned angry or ugly, and giving ourselves a second chance was the right move, so now there's no doubt or regret. This was my deepest and most meaningful relationship to date, and I've learned and changed so much for the better because of it. I will allow myself to honor missing him when I feel it, while appreciating that we're no longer frustrated expecting things of each other that the other can't fulfill. I'm confident that given enough time we'll be friends. As he said last weekend, we have a lot of love and care between us, it just needs to find a new place.

Riddle Me This

According to a psychologist who developed this question, all serial killers to whom he posed it answered the same way.

Answer this question:
A woman goes to her mother's funeral. There she meets a man with whom she is instantly smitten. She has such strong feelings for him that she comes to realize that he is her soulmate, and they are meant to be together. They do not, however, exchange phone numbers. Afterward she finds herself thinking about him constantly. Two days later she kills her sister.

Why?

This ain't your typical Saturday morning cartoon

Keep on rollin'

This time was for fun, but next time we're putting on helmets and knee pads and kickin' ass!

A couple of months ago I got to meet another half-brother I have while we both happened to be visiting LA. Several yearas ago when I met my biological father and his family I was relieved to finally meet people who I looked like and I think this new sibling fits right in!

Spring brings strange things

so unfair

One of my favorite small businesses is in trouble. A friend has set up an informative page about the situation and how we can help. I urge you to reach out so we can send this bastard a message, that the little guys can't be pushed around!

For years now, whenever I see window washers dangling precariously from the side of a building, I take a moment to ask if one of them may be kind enough to take me up with them to get a bird’s eye view. Obviously they always say no because of liability reasons, but I’m a determined woman(or maybe just delusional). Wednesday night, some friends and I were walking down Montgomery Street and I was marveling at a crew way up high using a spot light to guide their way and I exclaimed "Man, I want to go up there sometime!"

Two blocks further there was a building covered in scaffolding, and two men in safety vests were hanging out on the corner with an English Bulldog in his own cute little safety vest. We stopped to pet the dog, I asked if there was a construction elevator in place, and before I knew it, after nearly a decade of rejection, a kind and crazy Operational Engineer escorted me and my friend 35 stories high into the San Francisco night.

It wasn’t one of those rickety little platforms but an orange cage elevator that hangs off the edge of the building between scaffolding. At ten stories my knees buckled, and at twenty I thought I was going to pee myself, but once at the top my fear was replaced with pure exhilaration; of the view, of finally being able to say I did it! The view of downtown and bay was magical, and being suspended 350 feet over Sutter Street filled me with absolute joy (although I believe the technical term is adrenal delirium.)

Seriously, when you want something, don't stop asking.

I know, it's crazy, where have I been????