i know this will hurt
but the ride feels so thrilling
stock up on band-aids

A Sweet Gesture

Last week a suitor baked me a delicious peach and raspberry crisp. From scratch. Wooing me with food is pretty much the best angle I can think of. Thank you, Mr. Chef Man.

have i mentioned i'm a bonafide coffee drinker?

After my aspirations of working my way to becoming an authentic Italian a few months back I quickly resumed enjoying the occasional decaf almond latte from Cafe Venue. But when I was in Illinois last month I took my Grammy out to breakfast every morning and every day I asked for a cup of decaf; it just goes well with pigs in a blanket. When I returned and moved in with my friends in Alameda, I started pouring a tiny cup of their Peet's half reg/half decaf blend every morning with breakfast. It gave me just enough focus and motivation without the brain scramble and heart palpitations. Yes, caffeinated fingers on the laptop make for more typos, but that's why God made Spellcheck. It's been five weeks and now I literally roll out of bed and start the coffee machine before I even use the bathroom and I'm up to two cups a morning (still half/half). I tried not drinking any while my housemates are gone for the next week, but I'm miserable. I wake up with a headache, zero drive to get anything done and I miss the aroma. I'm determined to be stronger than this little addiction, so wish me luck and don't give me a hard time if you see me in line at Starbucks!

And I only go on about one date a year because...

A few weeks ago I went to Mendocino for a three-day Vipassana meditation retreat. We practiced noble silence which means no talking, no eye contact and no gestures, you're supposed to focus inward and ignore those around you. We're given a hearty breakfast and lunch, but only tea for dinner. The silence, no eye contact and even restricted diet I can abide by, but I'm much too much of an observer/busybody to tune everyone out, so I happened to notice there were a few cute guys in the men's group. On the last day noble silence was broken they set out snacks and "noble chatter" began. I was scooping some popcorn into my bowl when one of the cuties approached and asked how the popcorn was. This was my reply, "It's great, fiber, just what I need right now". Yeah. I'll give you a minute to let the horror sink in. Why I felt it was vital to let this hottie know that I needed to poo is beyond me. In my defense, I had been without social interaction for three days.

I was in Illinois a few weeks ago, and whenever I'm there I indulge in one of my favorite guilty pleasures-Country music. I used to listen only to Country music in the early 90s so it's fun for me to cruise through middle America listening to songs that take me back in time, and to hear how Country music has progressed as well. One thing I always liked about Country was the slight innocence most love songs conveyed. Well obviously it's been a long time since I've listened on a regular basis. I couldn't believe my ears when I heard a new song from Brad Pailsey(2-3 times an hour I might add) called "Ticks".



Every time you take a sip
In this smoky atmosphere
You press that bottle to your lips
And I wish I was your beer
In the small there of your back
Your jeans are playing peekaboo
I'd like to see the other half of your butterfly tattoo.

Hey that gives me an idea
Let's get out of this bar
Drive out into the country
And find a place to park.

'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks.

I know the perfect little path
Out in these woods I used to hunt
Don't worry babe I've got your back
And I've also got your front
Now, I'd hate to waste a night like this
I'll keep you safe you wait and see
The only thing allowed to crawl all over you when we get there is me.

You know every guy in here tonight
Would like to take you home
But I've got way more class than them
Babe that ain't what I want.

'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks.

You never know where one might be
There's lots of places that are hard to reach
I gotcha.


Whoooooaaaa, easy partner. This ain't a naughty little euphemism that may make me blush, this is downright lewd. Just because you mention moonlight and wildflowers doesn't mean I'm not grossed out.