April 30, 2002

Some are born with silver spoons. Others.......

I just started working for an interior design firm and it's nice to be surrounded by beautiful patterns and fine things. Part of my job is to open incoming packages, figure which project the piece is for, record that it was received, and inform the head designer. In the last 3 days I've received paint catalogs, fabric swatches, and tile samples. Neat, but not thrilling. Today, JACKPOT! A silver cocktail shaker, with engraved drink ingredients diagonally around the bottom, and drink names engraved along the top, and when the top and bottom are turned accordingly, it gives you the recipe for standard drinks. Accompanying this handy accessory was a set of silver coasters. I twisted the shaker and announced the drink components in an infomercial fashion. I pretended to shake the shaker shaking my booty and singing "La Kuka Racha, La Kuka Racha" (again hooked on Fonix worked for me). I pawed the coasters, breaking into my Stuffy English Country Club Lady character, "Ooo Lovey, aren't these coasters simply divine". I then discovered burried under foam peanuts, the packing slip. I scanned the sheet to double check the accuracy of content and my knees literally went weak. Who in the HELL put me in charge of handling $750.00 silver (oh yes, solid, not plated as I had assumed) cocktail shakers and $1,350 "Buffy do put this little coaster under your beverage please, that table is antique" solid silver coasters. I'm told I'll get used to it, and no doubt the day will come when I scoff at the $10,000 drapery material that is on it's way to cover the windows in the bar room that the shaker and coasters will reside. I always compare pricey things in relation to my rent because it's my largest expense. Hmmm, have a place to live for a month, or have something really stylish to rest my bottle of hooch on while lying in a gutter waiting for my unemployment check to come in? Don't laugh, women are known to make exorbitant purchases.


April 20, 2002

Poetic Puppets

My whole family is joining in on the twisted muppet rhymes. This one comes to me from my Faboo Aunt Sue in Hampton, Virginia.

Tickle me Elmo
I don't mean my funny bone by my elbow
I wanna get jiggy
With Miss Piggy
I'd be sooo sweet
Cause porks the other white meat!

April 07, 2002

Home Sweet Home
A few months ago I immersed myself in the manic task of finding a place to live. I never made it to actually see the apartments mentioned in a Craigslist ad that read "MOVE IN SPECIAL-FIRST MONTH FREE". Luckily the internet cummunity was happy to volunteer their opinions and share their experiences via aptratings.com for all who inquired. My personal favorite was the posting dated 11/12.
Fillmore Apartments