August 28, 2002

Indian Giver

If a boyfriend ever loans you money, and says "This is a gift, don't worry about paying it back", insist that you will and be sure to pay it back right away so they don't ask for it 6 months after you break up.
Swoon

"She's the best. A thoroughbred. She got brains, in her head"
from 'Win, place or show' by the Intruders
Damn it, when will someone write a song like this about me?

August 27, 2002

2nd Year of Fog City Living

So a few weeks after the Hungarian and Big Head, I met my Irish friend's brother, the Irish Lad. Oh the epic tale of this man. On our first date, I stayed the night with him. It was late on a Saturday, and we couldn't get a cab and his neighbor had blocked him in the garage. He offered to sleep on the couch, but I was comfortable with him, so we bunked together. We didn't kiss. I slept like a rock which I never do by myself let alone with a new boy, so I knew something was different. We woke up the next morning ate breakfast in bed. We fell back asleep. We woke up and gabbed, played with the dog, and fell BACK asleep. It was comfortable from the start.
A few weeks later was the Mission Armory party. My Irish friend who worked for the commercial real estate firm I worked for, was the agent who was handling the sale of this controversial building. The owner; the Hungarian, who I hadn't dated in over a month. So the party's in full swing with Willie Brown, protesters, camera crews and yours truly as the greeter at the front door. There was a documentary made about it called Boom and I have about 3 seconds of screen time. So the Hungarian proceeds to get hammered and hides my purse so that when I'm ready to leave I can't. I rally a couple of friend's and we search his studio until I find it wedged between his bed and the wall. He begs me to come back later and stay with him and I sternly protest. I went home, went to bed, and at around 2:30 in the morning my roommate comes in and says that he's been ringing the door buzzer for a while now. And then I hear him yelling my name outside and telling me he can't live without me yadda, yadda, yadda. Finally my roomie picked up the phone and told him I wasn't there, she was sleeping, please go away. The next morning there were 26 messages on my machine, his drunken blabber about my being off with someone else, he's ready for me now.... Drama King!
I continued to hang out with the Irish Lad. As we spent more time together, I continued to date other guys, and he commented on how cool it was that I wasn't looking for anything serious because neither was he, we were in the same place. I asked if he was dating anyone else and he said that he had a little crush on a friend of his, but they hadn't kissed or anything so he didn't know what was going to happen. So when I met him, this friend had just left for about 3 months, so for three months we were inseparable. I've never felt anything so right in my all my life. We were close, comfortable, silly, adventurous, perfect together. In August I went to Burning Man, and the week I was gone was the week his friend was supposed to be coming back. I knew what he had said about her before, but I was confident that the last few months with me would lay to rest any rush he had on her.
My first Burning Man. I am a force of nature I swear because it's hotter than hell on the playa but the year I go, we have record lows and rain! I had started my period the day we got there so I was crabby, and my camp was a bunch of druggy freaks that I didn't know so well. The last day was warm and sunny and it actually made up for the first 3 days of agony. I visited the Tom Jones camp which was constructed of panties, I played at the trampoline camp, I watched a girl running around the playa with a vacuum trying to 'get this place cleaned up', all the while walking around in nothing but a tiara and a sash that read Miss Chievious. I would randomly hug people and ask them if they could belive that I had won! I ran into the Hungarian and his girlfriend, who politely invited me to come hang out at their camp. Poor girl.
Upon my return to SF I was faced with the Irish Lad's indecision. He said that he hadn't thought about his friend the whole time we were together, but now that she was back he felt torn. I gave him space (if you love someone..) and we hung out a few more times, him expressing how much he like me and how understanding I was, but eventually he said he wouldn't make a decision to choose one or the other so he was going to stop hanging out with both of us.
In October I held my 1st Annual Family Feast. A nice dinner with people who mean a great deal to me. Not acquaintances, but true friends that I consider my community, my family. There were 14 of us at the BitterRoot and it was beautiful. It was so nice to know people that I respected, that would do anything for me, that I would do anything for. This was a big change from the party crowd I ran with in Virginia.
Next was my 2nd Castro Halloween. Holy bajeezus was it fun. This year it peaked at 500,000 characters. I decided that no matter where I live, I want to spend my Pagan New Year in SF every year! I had a fetish Alice in Wonderland costume made by stitchbitch, a girl I found on craigslist who is now a super good friend. The costume made the portfolio section of her website, she is a magnificently talented designer. She introduced me to her Wednesday night Ladees Nite group, a wonderful gathering of positive, proactive women. They have become a huge support system for me!
In December I went to the Irish Lad's sister's holiday party and he was unexpectedly there. He was glued to me the whole evening. He snuck into the bathroom while I was in there and we broke down about how much we missed each other. He said he was mixed up but he asked if I'd give him a year to sort things out. Then he said it was unfair to ask that of me (damn straight) but I clung to that glimmer of hope that when he was ready for a relationship, he would want it to be me. Later in the month I went to Santa Cruz and spent the Winter Solstice with my friend Saucy. We went to a beautiful beach and dug little holes to drop tea lites in, she called the installation Bringing In The Light. We must have lit a thousand lites with fewer people than expected and drizzle. In the end it formed a beautiful dancing angel shape, and one girl fire danced on the shoreline. We shared a picnic and explored a near by cave, it was such a moving experience.



It's Just Rude Man

How hard is it to turn around and look at someone when they're talking to you? Acknowledge that you heard me and that you understand what I said. Show some respect, Jesus!
Hip Hop Hooray
-Naughty by Nature

So I went out with the 32 year-old Puerto Rican surgeon last night. We went out to Wasabi and Ginger for sushi. It's been about 4 months since I've been and they've taken to filling their decorative fish tank with actual fish which makes it difficult for me to enjoy their raw little carcasses on rice. Anyway the surgeon is a gentleman, he likes hip hop, he loves the word 'bastards', and he doesn't like banana flavor. We're supposed to go out again next week.

While I'm on the dating front, I emailed the geologist and told him that although he is handsome, physically hot, smart, and funny, I couldn't deny that that special spark wasn't there. Turns out he feels the same way! Isn't it strange that one can be so appealing, yet not appealing enough? We've agreed to hang out as friends and I really hope we do.

August 26, 2002

p.s. to "I Kissed a Girl"

In my female french kissing frenzy, I forgot to include the hilarities of Ozzy's show. I've seen him a few times before and he likes to superimpose himself in recent movies, videos and commercials up on a big screen. The first time I saw him he put himself in "Titanic" and it was him who Leo was sketching naked and Ozzy says "Hurry up, I'm gonna' catch a death of cold". He showed a Fiona Apple video and told her to get something to eat for Christ's sake. Last night they started out with him as one of the Moulin Rouge girls, corset and all. Then he became Cleo the Jamaican psychic. When a caller asked him if her boyfriend was cheating on her, Ozzy replied "Of course he is honey", and the caller asked "It's that blonde from work isn't it"? and Ozzy added "No honey, it's the boy next door"! Next they had him dressed up as Samantha from Sex and the City where during a conversation about giving head, Ozzy is practicing on a banana. He's a riot AND he rocks!
Just Lame

I went on a brief date with a 29 year-old unemployed electric engineer (says he plays with lasers) Friday after work. The deal breaker-when talking about kids and how after people have them that's all they talk about, he says, and I quote, "Yeah I saw this woman reading Parenting Magazine and I just wanted say 'I think it's pathetic that you're trying to fill that void in your life, there's so much else you could be doing'". YIKES! I wouldn't want my babies calling him Daddy. Thankfully Eugene is steadfast in his pursuit to father my little crumb snatchers.
"I Kissed a Girl"
-Jill Sobule

I've said it once and I will say it again, I am a creature of extremes and yesterday was prime. If my day yesterday were a movie it would have started out Disney and ended soft porn. If it were an album, it would have started Raffi's 'Singable Songs' and ended Lords of Acid's 'Lust'.
I got up early and finished a few batches of baby soap party favors (9lbs of glycerin I re-molded into cute parting gifts, yeah I'm crafty) and ventured out to Pacifica for a fantastic day of silly games, even sillier prizes including a vegetable votive and a bank in the form of a baby bent over and the coins go 'you know where'. I wrestled with kids, ogled over wee babies, ate super sweet shower cake, and had a great time sharing a wonderful afternoon with my friends. I knew I was going to Ozzfest after the G rated festivities, but I was convinced it would be low key. It was Sunday and I have to work the next day, I'm not a headbanger as I used to be, I haven't moshed in years, totally had it in my head I would enjoy the show for sure, but in an adult fashion, not an adult film fashion!
So my savant friend picks me up, getting lost on the way as he ALWAYS does, and we head South for Mountainview. We're gabbing and jumping up and down at the prospect of going backstage when I realize we're in San Jose already. Now I'm great with directions, I was just at Shoreline last week, I know how to get there. He managed to get us lost even with my navigating, he's contagious. I urged him to find out how to get back on track because although he didn't know it yet, Tommy Lee was waiting for me. We get down there, pick up our complimentary tickets and VIP passes at will call (THANK YOU ARTICLE344) and found our primo seats in time to catch System of a Down. It's been a really long time since I've been surrounded by bikers and goth folk. There was this 10 year-old in from of us who got so high his eyes weren't even open and he actually started drooling. He remained standing, and continued to take a hit every time the pipe was passed, but jeesh, how much fun is that? There were 5 cute frat boys to my left, and a VIP box of bikers behind us. After a brief stage change, the Prince of Darkness himself took the stage. One of the bikers occasionally grabbed our shoulders in excitement, and one of the biker chicks insisted on taking our earplugs out. The other biker chic was hot! Big blue eyes, black curly hair, and perfect white teeth. She was super clean, and I feel the need to include that when referring to a biker chick because stereotypes are for a reason. She had on a little black tank and blue jeans with this cute Harley belt buckle with orange rhinestones. So I'm dancing with my friend and one of the frat boys when "I don't want to change the world" comes on, one of my fav Ozzy tracks. I jumped up on the arm rests of my seat and danced like a lunatic. The hot chick grabbed my hips and shook along with me. Understandable, my ass was in her face. Then she starts running her hands around to my stomach, okay that's saucy, no problem. Next I felt her fingers trying to grab my boobs! That was a bit much for me. So I spent most of Ozzy's wiggling on the arm rests, a hot chick groping my ass with her husband behind her enjoying 'the show', and an eager little frat boy in front of me holding my knee so as to be a part of the action without being too forward. As the bikers were leaving the chick leans in for a little kiss (you know how girls are after meeting and getting along, and groping each other) and then she plants one on me. I couldn't resist, she was a doll baby. Women's mouths are smaller and softer, it was very nice actually. I'm not ready to jump the fence, or even stand on it, but it's nice to peek through the slats every now and again.
No one cool hangs out backstage, so no celebrity sitings to report. I woke up this morning with a ringing in my ears, a stiff neck, sore legs, a barf soaked shirt balled on the floor (note: not my vomit) and a big ol' smile on my face!

My favorite thing today: I kissed a girl!

August 23, 2002



Yeah this is me experimenting with uploading photos. I tinker with the html in my template and I've gotten good, but I guess I stink at image tinkering.
Unacceptable

Why would a man wear black socks with shorts and sneakers? Why?

August 22, 2002

Oh Joy

So the designer/architect mixer I was supposed to go tonight has been postponed. Do you have any idea what this means? I get to stay home tonight! No dates. No concerts. No parties. Just me, a dvd from Netflix and a pint of Hagen Daaz. Amen!
*Sigh*

I miss sleeping next to a man.

My favorite thing today: Dancing at 111 Minna with paper toilet seat covers on my head; sober.

August 21, 2002

Love The Shnaaz

So I just found out Tommy Lee has been added to Ozzfest. If I can find a ride I'm totally going after my friend's baby shower. Ohmagod if I get to see Tommy Lee's nostrils in real life, look out! Yes, my favorite part of the human anatomy - the nose. I'm a freak and I know it. I like the way a nose shows character. I love the way nostrils flare when someone is laughing or angry or in bed. Jon Stewart, Pauly Shore, Rupert Everett, Johnathon Schaech, that's what I'm talking about! So the 10 year-old in me has already played the scenario in my head. I'll bump into him backstage. He'll drop Mayte like a bad habit and woo me. I'll decline because of his reckless lifestyle. He'll give it all up for my love and woo me some more. I'll accept. I'll move to L.A. and bear him nostril beautiful children. I'll spend my days on the beach with Tommy, Brandon and Dylan (because he'll have joint custody), and spend my evenings hanging in the pleasure swing in his sex room. Have I revealed too much?
Quandary of the Day

Where else would a cock ring fit on a dog's body besides the intended appendage? The world may never know. But one might think twice about bringing one's dog into work when one's office is full of gay men.

August 19, 2002

Real Classy Like

I went to a wedding in Sacramento on Saturday and it was like a fairy tale. Never have I been to a wedding where it was evident that the planners got exactly what they wanted. I've been to many 'happiest days', but I could always tell where compromises were made. Cheaper food, not agreed upon location, audio difficulties, horrific bridesmaid dresses, spans of time with guest asking each other what's next etc. Saturday night's celebration went off without a hitch. And if there were any, they were concealed flawlessly. The bride, a good friend and one of the ladees from Ladees Night, is the epitome of the perfect bride. In a Vera Wang gown, standing under the chuppa that the groom made himself, she looked like an angel. The meal was so delicious, I helped myself to two HEAPING plates of savory sun-dried tomato pasta, salmon with mango salsa and sweet green salad. The ceremony took place in bride's parents backyard and it was landscaped to perfection complete with it's very own bocce ball court. Hanging lanterns set the romantic mood, and the brides maids wore classy valentine red gowns which added to the ambiance of love. The toasts were plentiful and heartfelt, and the music was "Groove is in the Heart" "Bust a Move" "Oh Mickey You're So Fine" danceable.
I don't see an event this grand in my future. My friends will get a drunken phone call from Vegas announcing I'm the new Mrs.? I know because it's already happened once. (I still having fleeting thoughts of doubt as to whether or not should get a divorce lawyer) Even though I'll never take the time to plan as my fortunate friend did, it was an honor to be a part of such a hallmark event.

My favorite thing today: Snickering at a wedding guest who failed to remove the price sticker from the heel of her black dress shoe.
Mmmmmmm

I looked out my office window and saw an immensely overweight man in a suit sneeze into his hands and then lick them clean.
Face Value

Friday night I was given the gift of 4 hours alone in a hotel room in Sacramento while my friend attended a rehearsal dinner for a wedding the next day. Now none of you probably have any idea my fascination with hotel rooms but I just love unpacking and putting all of clothes and beauty products away as if it's my fresh new place to live. The idea of throwing towels on the floor and having them regenerate into cleans ones hung on the towel bar when I return is so gratifying. I don't feel I need to be productive or social when I'm staying in a hotel, it's my private time-out.
After jumping on the bed and leaping from one bed to another, I was going through the freebie toiletries in the bathroom and along with the 'made just for the Radisson' lotion, shower cap, and oatmeal face soap I discovered this incredibly soft wash cloth with a band of paper around it that read Asiria Body Care. I rubbed the delicate fabric against my cheek. This was nice! Being the extraordinarily thoughtful person I am, and knowing what a toiletry freak my friend is, I knew my she'd love to indulge in a super soft face cloth so I decided to call housekeeping and have them bring one of these little treasures to the room. I dialed zero and asked for another Asiria body care face cloth, not one of the regular white ones hanging on the towel bar, but one of the baby smooth ivory ones that was placed in the vanity area so it's not to consort with the generic starchy white face cloths. A few moments later an elderly man appeared at the door holding a generic white face cloth and hand towel. "We didn't know which one you needed so we brought both" he said generously. "Actually I was hoping to get one of the ivory ones that I found on the vanity, the Asiria body care cloths, they're much gentler", I replied longingly. The man's brow wrinkled and he looked at me as if I was from Mars. "Are you talking about the the shoe shine mitt"? Why in the world was it labeled body care I thought to myself. In a micro-second I answered "Oh my gosh, my friend thought that was a face cloth and asked me to get more". We shared a chuckle and he assured me he could get me another. I was laughing so hard when I tried telling the story to my friend when she returned that night, I sounded like I was having an asthma attack.

August 16, 2002

Ready to Take On The Day

What does it say about your disposition when Rage Against the Machine at 6:30am puts you in a good mood?

August 15, 2002

"I'm With the DJ"

Intention
111 Minna for a couple of hours of dancing with friends.

Reality
Scrambed like a mad woman to find transportation to the Area 2 show, eventually borrowed a friend's car that 'gets a little shaky' if you go faster than 65mph, purchased a ticket for a discount from a seedy character in the parking lot, was denied access at the gate twice for trying to smuggle in my camera, eventually made it in, found my friends, pulled the ol' hand-behind-the-back with the VIP pass, and hung out backstage with DJ Tiesto and music producers. I hung out in Digweed's trailer. Ate one of his bananas. My friends polished off his last beer. Sorry John, at least we didn't dig in to your chips and salsa that were labeled as if your Mom had made your lunch! I didn't want to be 'that girl' so I didn't get any autographs, but I will always have the memory of raiding Digweed's trailer for fruit and booze. I saw David Bowie and Moby perform on the main stage and can I just tell you how much Bowie makes me melt! I'll be his China Girl and give him some Modern Love! Damn!

My favorite thing today: Finding pictures of Emanuel Lewis randomly taped all around the office.
Word For Today

GENUFLECT
Look it up, learn it, and do it it my presence.

My favorite thing today: Finding pictures of Emmanuel Lewis randomly taped all over the office.

August 14, 2002

2nd Year of Fog CIty Living

Got a request from a reader to finish what I started back in June. Maybe I'll have time in the next couple of weeks. HA!

August 13, 2002

Das Zeitgeist

I checked out the Zeitgeist International Film Festival last night. 16 short films, the aroma of weed and a chill in the air. Some I felt indifferent about. Perhaps they were technologically special and me being film-making ignorant would never know to appreciate it, but the content bored me.
One moved me in a sad way. It was called "Blink". Depicts this woman gets up late for work, bolts out of the house, waves to a little girl up in a window of the house across the street, speeds off, has a tough day at work, sits through traffic to get home, only to find out on the evening news that the little girl had been kidnapped from her home 5 days before, was being held in the house across the street, and had been murdered that day. Yikes. So now to the funny ones.
"Fast Forward II" Trouble in Legoland - This was great not only creatively but for nostalga sake as well. It brought to life the scenarios we played out as kids with our Legos. High speed chases, helicopter rescue, burning buildings (made with orange and yellow wrinkly paper, a waterfall scene (made with cling wrap), and all the 'zoom' 'bang' 'pow' sound effects you can imagine.
"Is It Time To Swap"? Two couples have known each other for a long time..... - My review would do no justice, just click the link and watch it!
"In the Red" A different kind of household tip - Uh, how do I begin. There is a woman in a flowing white dress walking along the shore, and as the camera pans out we see a huge red stain on the back of her dress. It goes into how women can make the most of their time of the month. Suggestions: making your own crafty pad with patterned material, squatting over a flower bed for fertilization, and making a fisherman's day by giving him your used tampons!
There was a movie that was in 3-D, but when we had the glasses on, all I saw was pink and blue flashes. I probably should have been more uncomfortable with the menstrual bit since I was on date #2 with the Geologist formerly known as the guy who bought my mattress cover ,but we both laughed hysterically. Support your local artitsts at bike messanger bars!

August 12, 2002

Appo Loopy Doopy Mumbo

Coherence my strong point today is not. I don't know why, I wasn't running around like a mad woman this weekend.
So Friday night I went to a friend's surprise birthday party at Cafe DuNord. It was great fun, a lot of the Ladees Nite crowd, cheesecake that was flown in from N.Y. by the birthday girl's step-dad, 2 beers, pool with nice boys, and home by midnight.
Saturday I frolicked around Baker Beach in the nude with some friends. The surf was really strong but I managed to play in the waves for about 20 minutes, successfully emerging looking like a drown rat. The water's not so cold if you keep your hands out of the water.
Saturday night was the bachelorette party. I knew I was having fun when it was happening, but it always sinks in a little deeper the next morning when you find residual indications of your debauchery from the night before.
Sunday I was getting into the shower when I caught my reflection and noticed my strategically placed super-hero temporary tattoos. I giggled at how much fun it was showing off Spidy in his 'secret lair'. I planted myself on my sofa, because that was as active as my dish rag body could get, and my purse from the night before was laying there open. It's contents:one purple party noise maker, one tube of lipstick, a handful of bobby pins, damp business cards, (I had shoved them in my bra while dancing because I had no pockets and my purse was across the room) an orange flavored tootsie roll pop, a book of matches, a pink drink umbrella, a late night Muni transfer, and a green water gun. There's a blonde Lita Ford/Samantha Fox style wig hanging from the foot of my bed, and a trail of rejected outfits from the last 2 days that spans from the living room all the way down the hall to the bathroom.
We started the ceremonies with cocktails and nibbles at the Maid of Honor's flat in the Castro. 15 beautiful ladees throwing back Cosmos, Pina Coladas, and Mint Julep style cocktails, adorning each other with stick-on tattoos, and loading up our bags with our mayhem making provisions. Heading out, the woman of the hour was given a stack of mischievous To Do cards, and was instructed that they all needed to be executed by the end of the night. It's surprising how compliant men on the street are when given the opportunity to help out 15 loud and tipsy females. We hadn't even walked a block when the first man we approached invited us up to a house party. We politely waited on the sidewalk and one by one men from the gathering came outside to aid our Bride-to-Be in eliminating several cards. A few noteworthy included 1) each toenail painted by a different man 2) a pair of men's underwear, this hot little ticket managed to make it's way back into the deck at least three times 3) find a man with big feet and ask him if it's true what they say, a paramedic in the Marina confirmed the theory and 4) collect doodles of a penis, a gay boy in the Castro took first place on that one!
My personal favorite highlights were watching a couple of the ladees getting into bars with other ladee's passports, the ladees singing their hearts out to Jesse's Girl and Shook Me All Night Long at the Bar None, men asking if the wig I had on was a wig and me looking insulted replying "no", using the men's loo at Blue Light, drinking a man's entire freshly poured beer when he asked me to hold it while he helped our veiled one perform a task, and talking the door guy into a Bachelorette Party discount at 1015 Folsom.

My favorite thing today: Girls Rule!

Identity Crisis

Ironic isn't it, that when I introduce myself, people most mistake my name as being Lisa, which is actually my birth name. Perhaps I should just screw with everyone's head and revert, however Queen Lisa Renee just doesn't make the same statement. Sometimes they mistake my name for Grease/Greece to which I ask "As in the cooking oil or the country"?
No Spring Chicken

I am ardently realizing that the older one gets, the longer it takes for one to recoup from staying up past their bedtime.

August 09, 2002

"Some Like it Hot"

BRING-IT-ON, I say! Call me crazy, but I'm a creature of extremes. I love it snowing, I love it blistering. As long as I can battle getting testy from the heat, like yesterday when you'd have sworn I was born in July because I was so crabby, I will continue to run around bare shouldered and bare footed feeling sassy.
People keep stating the obvious and it drives me to want to shove ice cubes down their pants and scream "I KNOW"!

August 08, 2002

"Shake Rattle and Roll"

Question of the day: What would your sibling say if he/she was staying with you and found your vibrator in the shower?
Email replies and I'll post 'em.

August 06, 2002

Looking for Some Hot Stuff....

The Queen demands that you click on this link and rate what you have read.
Your Cheating Heart Pt.2

So the guy emailed today and wrote 'I'm so bummed you didn't email me yesterday'. My reply: 'As I'm sure your spouse would be bummed to know that you're emailing women all day. Perhaps I'm confused of the dynamic here. Are you gay or straight? Do you think I'm a boy or a girl? I live my life by karma, and there's no way when I'm married I'll want my husband emailing some chickie online'. He replied and wrote 'I'm with you. Have a wonderful life'. He still sucks!

August 05, 2002

For the Record

I could not be anymore unmotivated today. Luckily I have a picture of my new boyfriend on my desk to keep me company. Eugene. Isn't he a hottie? Back off hussies!
Your Cheating Heart

So Friday I listed 2 Southwest ticket vouchers on Craigslist.
Southwest Airline Vouchers- They expire Oct 01, 2002. 2 Round trip tickets anywhere in the continental U.S. anywhere SW flies. Must make reservations at least 30 days in advance. Both tickets must be used at the same time. No blackout dates for this voucher. These are not actual SW tickets, but travel agency vouchers that are used the same way-$500
I got several inquiries including one from a man that turned into correspondence. You know I'm a nut for getting to know people and I've always met people in unique ways, so it didn't strike me as odd that we chatted periodically throughout the day.

xx: are these rapid reward or green coupons

qr: as I stated clearly in the ad, these aren't actual SW tickets, but are travel agency vouchers that are used the same way

xx: I see, so there's no way to tell if they're genuine. I'm skeptical about their validity

qr: my boyfriend and I tried using them last year, and got as far as having them check reservations for us, but were unable to go on the trip

xx: may I suggest that you and your boyfriend go to romantic destination that SW flies, perhaps palm beach or new orleans

qr:(okay a tad bold but maybe he's just helpful) I appreciate the suggestion, however he is no longer my boyfriend and these tickets need to be used together, I'm disqualified

xx: I'm sorry to hear that, what this a good thing

qr: (okay now that's bold and he wants to chat) well it wasn't a good thing for him when it happened, but that was 5 months ago. We were friends before and we're friends still

xx: so tell me about the missadventures email name. care to describe yourself?

qr: (I see where this is going) it's a nickname one of my first friends here in the city gave me a few years ago. I'd have to say I'm pretty proud of who I am. your company name sounds familiar, what do they do?

xx: investment banking

qr: oh yeah, I used to deal with them when I worked for a real estate company. what do you do for them?

xx: investment banker. any plans for the weekend. what do you like to do

qr: I'm participating in a sidewalk sale and I have to grocery shop. movies, hang out with friends, yoga. and you?

xx: garden, watch movies nothing too exciting. how old are you?

qr: 28 years young and you?

xx: I have a few more gray hairs than you, I'm 36.

qr: (that little voice in my head piped up) are you married

xx: oh, we're going to get personal now. yes I'm married

qr: (stumped) well I think that if a man emails me for several hours including asking me to describe myself that I should probably know if he's part of a happy couple

xx: fair enough

qr: well I have to go now, the weekend is calling my name. Have a nice weekend.

xx: you too, hope to hear from you next week

Now what is this dude thinking? I have his full name from his email address, the company he works for, is he that trusting of every girl he e-flirts with that she won't let his unsuspecting wife know? Or maybe they're a couple looking for a sweet young thing to join them. Maybe he's a homicidal maniac. Maybe he wants to sell me Amway. Or maybe, no I shouldn't even write it. Maybe he's a scientologist. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! What I'm getting at is this guy was skeptical about my honesty regarding these tickets, and he's having getting to know you chat with chicks online while his poor sweet wife is at home taking care of the baby and cooking his favorite meal. He sucks!