Move Over Good Vibrations...
Ladees Nite 11/7/01 was EPIC! Our hostess suggested we all bring in clothes that would other wise be donted to good will, to give our fellow females first dibs at some new threads. Not only did most ladees score, but our hotess with the mostess also treated us to home made broccoli casserole and mashed potatoes. Throw in home made bread and home made chocolate pudding provided by little Sarah, and this was the kind of gathering dreams were made of. But it gets better. In addition to a woman's 2 favorite elements of food and clothing, we were introduced to our new source of decadence-The Orgasmatron. Sounds kinky when you think that this was an all girl party, but allow me to clarify. The Orgasmatron is an understated modern marvel of jubilation. Resemlbing that of a kitchen whisk, an artistic Spider or a piece of science equipment as we all mistook this hero for, the Orgasmatron is simply a copper wire scalp massager. Yes Gentleman, for the first time it actaully happened; a group of 10 hot women, half dressed, happily fed, rubbing each others heads to the point of uncontrolled giggling.

LIFE'S LITTLE INSTRUCTIONS
Bend once, snap and shake. Can be held in hand or hung using hook or hole.
How could I NOT take this out of context.
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GODDESS BLESS AMERICA
New State Mottos:
Alabama:
Yes, we have electricity
Arizona:
But It’s a Dry Heat
Arkansas:
Litterasy Ain’t Everthing
California:
As Seen on TV
Colorado:
If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother
Connecticut:
Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character
Delaware:
We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water
Florida:
Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia:
We Put the “Fun” in Fundamentalist Extremism
Hawaii:
Haka Tiki Mou Sha’ami Leeki Toru
(Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
Idaho:
Potatoes and NeoNazi’s ... What More Could You Ask For?
Illinois:
Please Don’t Pronounce the “S”
Indiana:
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa:
We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas:
Where Science Don’t Mean Shit
Kentucky:
Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana:
We’re Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That’s Our Tourism Campaign
Maine:
We’re Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland:
A Thinking Man’s Delaware
Massachusetts:
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden’s (For Most Tax Brackets)
Michigan:
First Line of Defense From the Canadians
Minnesota:
10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
Mississippi:
Come Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri:
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work
Montana:
Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, and Very
Little Else
Nebraska:
Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada:
Whores and Poker!
New Hampshire:
Go Away and Leave Us Alone
New Jersey:
You Want a ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
New Mexico:
Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York:
You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney...
North Carolina:
Tobacco is a Vegetable
North Dakota:
We Really are One of the 50 States!
Ohio:
At Least We’re Not Michigan
Oklahoma:
Like the Play, only No Singing
Oregon:
Spotted Owl... It’s What’s For Dinner
Pennsylvania:
Cook With Coal
Rhode Island:
We’re Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina:
Remember the Civil War? We Didn’t Actually Surrender
South Dakota:
Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee:
The Educashun State
Texas:
Si’ Hablo Ing’les
(Yes, I speak English)

Utah:
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont:
Yep
Virginia:
Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don’t Mix?
Washington:
Help! We’re Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!
Washington, D.C.:
Wanna Be Mayor?
West Virginia:
One Big Happy Family-Really!
Wisconsin:
Come Cut Our Cheese
Wyoming:
Where men are men and sheep are scared