Absolutely lovin' these guys. I really appreciate their super simple and direct lyrics, sometimes I'm annoyed with too many metaphors and cliches. 'Hey there Delilah' and 'Hate (I really don't like you) are my favs so far.

you know i can see you, right?

I am so over people grooming themselves on public transportation. I understand when you have a 30+ minute commute there's the inclination to take advantage of your time trapped in a tube and take care of some business. Brush up on current events, meditate, catch up on email, daydream, get to the next level of Grand Theft Auto, whatever you can do that's silent and solitary. But clipping your nails, cleaning out your ears, flossing or POPPING PIMPLES...these are things that should be left to the privacy of your own home. I'm an extra freak and believe these things should only take place in the bathroom, but as long as I don't have to see it, carry on. Perhaps I can stop people from doing these things by warning that performing some of these activities in a moving vehicle can be dangerous. If the train or bus comes to an abrupt stop you could snip off the tip of your finger with your clippers, or stab your brain while picking your nose. Is it a city 'anything goes' thing? Is it a California 'laid back' thing? In a few months I'll let you now if Florentines lack public couth as well.

On the loose

Last Sunday we did Bay to Breakers as convicts in orange jumpsuits, complete with a jail cell to protect our kegs. The general consensus was that we all got some sick satisfaction yelling faux threats like "Just you wait til I get out"!, and "You better hope I don't catch you in the shower Bitch"! Of course the tone was completely different for us single cons when we spotted a cute guy. We used, "Wanna be my pen pal"?, "Will you wait for me"?, and my personal favorite, "Hey Honey, wanna join me for a conjugal visit"? We did the Jailhouse Rock with the Elvises, wiggled on rooftops and came out covered in various sticky substances which added to our hooscow authenticity.

You can see our mug shots here.

Yessssssssss!

Saturday night I went to see Mitch Fatel at the Punchline in SF. I'm sure he says it to all the girls, but he told me I had a beautiful smile so of course I'm going to boast. I told him he has the warmest smile I've ever seen and it's true. I don't usually get starstruck but men who make me laugh are my weakness, and he just seems so friendly. Listen to me ramble like I have a high school crush. OhMyGod maybe I should have slipped him a note, "Do you like me? Check box yes or no"!

Monday I was in Walgreens with a friend discussing the differences between Mucus Relief and Mucinex, when I felt something graze my arse. I noticed a woman walking past us out of the corner of my eye and assumed that as she was trying to get by an maybe her purse or something brushed my bum. But when it didn't stop I looked down and saw her 10 year-old son's hand rubbing my fanny! My friend said I had one of those 'deer in headlights' looks on my face, then we both started laughing so hard we were crying. He didn't even seem to notice he was doing it! As we walked out I said, "What's even funnier is getting felt up by a 10 year-old in a drugstore is the most action I've gotten in a loooooooong time"!

KILL FEAR AND DOUBT

This is from a friend of mine in LA.This rings especially true for me now as my move date closes in, and I begin to worry about money, lonliness and logistics rather than riding high on the fact that soon I'll be living in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, learning to communicate in a new way, and discovering even more about myself. It will all work out!

A really sweet girl I've been dating for a couple weeks just decided to move to Barcelona (no, it wasn't because of me). She had visited the city before and last weekend just realized it was something she always really wanted to do, so, she's going to do it. Just like that? Yes, just like that.

Many times we come up with all kinds of very reasonable sounding excuses and reasons as to why we shouldn't do certain things we deep-down have always wanted to do. But the truth is, if you really want to do something, "how" is not that important. What's important is to become clear about what you truly, deeply desire in your life and then go after it. All the "hows" will work themselves out, often in ways you could never have planned or imagined. Joseph Campbell said, "Follow your bliss and doors will open where there were no doors before." What's really stopping us from our dreams is ourselves.

The more we stay in our comfort zone, the more fear begins to rule our lives, and the doubts and fears we have grow in power over us. Voices inside our heads (whether from parents, people around us, the media, etc.) tell us all the reasons we can't do what we want to do, can't be who we want to be. But the truth is, those voices are no more valid than the ones that say we can. So, it's up to us to decide what voices we're going to listen to, daily. And you have to be merciless, especially at first. You must kill all fear and doubt. And you also have to cast off their twisted cousin, cynicism. If you hold on to the comfort of cynicism to avoid disappointment and pain, or even worse, to look cool, you're only hurting yourself. So, be careful what voices you listen to, whether on the outside or in your head. Live in the moment daily, and be aware of your thoughts and the stories you're telling yourself. If you change those stories, change those voices, then you will change your life.

I struggle daily with fear and doubt in various areas of my life. But for the last two years I have been changing the stories and voices in my head, and the results have been incredible, not only in the outward manifestation of a different life, but a different level of peace and enjoyment of my life. So, when the idea of doing a solo tour came into my head, just like my friend moving to Barcelona, I just decided to do it. Scheduling it hasn't been effortless, but many doors have opened to make the tour possible. Although there are still some holes in the schedule, I'm more excited than afraid to see how those things will work themselves out. And I keep trying to tip the emotion of fear to excitement instead as I stretch the boundaries of my comfort zone. I just have to keep mercilessly killing fear and doubt, every day. Eventually, I hope their voices will be dim and distant compared to the voices of courage, power and joy. I hope the same for you.

Let Freedom Ring

I love when I'm reminded loud and clear, that when you're true to yourself and make yourself happy, the sweeter life really is!

I just saw my web stats, and Helloooooo to my Swede reader! In your honor here is my Swedish Top Ten:

The Swedish Chef
August Strindberg
Volvo
Swedish Fish
Europe
Ikea including the diner Swedish meatballs served with lingonberries, cream sauce and potatoes
Together
Lotta Jansdotter
ABBA
Popular Music by Vittula by Mikael Niemi

Pearl is one tough lady

Pearl means business!

Sometimes when I see my fish hanging out near the top of his bowl, I get the feeling he's debating whether or not to hurl himself onto the desk.

Oh how, how, how, how, how did I forget the agonizing pain of breaking in a new pair of flip-flops?

Anything is possible

This morning I officially completed burning all of my cds to my laptop. It's taken me months and months of squeezing a handful in here and there, but it's done. Now I have a security blanket to take with me to Florence.

Warm Fuzzy

I spent this weekend at The Crucible taking an introduction to neon class. It was perfectly timed too because it was a lesson in patience and going with the flow. I kept trying to control and bend the glass by force before it was hot enough; ready. I was thinking too far along in the process before really getting the basics down, which obviously are the fundamentals for getting to the finished product, despite seeming over simplified.

With the big move on my mind my main concern at the moment is financing it. I feel like I need to have all the money I'm going to need for the next twelve months in the bank before I go. This mind set has been the cause of a few private mini-meltdowns and one big public one. Thank goodness I have supportive and understanding co-workers! And while I do have tuition deadlines in the next eight to ten weeks, and I need to be prepared for not being able to work legally while I'm in school, I need to take a step back and allow things to fall into place naturally. I'm going to swallow my pride and ask to borrow money, I'm going to sell as much useless household stuff as I can, and make myself open to abundance.

it's what i do!

I just received my first check for voice over work. 100 smackers for 25 minutes work. This should become the norm if I do say so myself!

Whining pays

So last night I took the time to put on paper how much chasing my dream is really going to cost me. My first reaction was panic but I quickly took a step back and decided not to worry about something that in't an issue yet. Most of the time nothing is worth freaking about anyway, but I was proud of myself for nipping any ill feelings in the bud and deciding to find a solution. I went into work this morning and expressed my ' financial concerns' to a co-worker who suggested prosper.com. It's person to person lending and borrowing where the borrower states their terms and lenders put money into their account. I'm still pursuing student loans and such but I love seeing evidence of the better I handle a situation, the better the situation becomes!

The thing that bugs me about so many romance movies (besides the disgusting do-see-do of a-list celebrities) is that they make it appear as though the couple is desperately in love after like, a glance, or reaching for the same apple. Next we'll see a steamy bedroom scene and we're supposed to accept superficial lust for deep, passionate love by which either would combat government interference, disease, social hierarchy, or time travel just to be with the other. BULL! I just watched Prime with Uma Thurman and Bryan Greenberg and it was great because it showed them spending quality time together. I completely understood why they wanted to be together and make it work despite the obstacles. There was walking in the park, sweet gestures, acting goofy, witty banter, the good stuff. Quality time is essential. BELIEVE ME. If you skip the getting to know you and go directly into hopelessly devoted, I gotta tell ya, not so satisfying. Of course we know that, but we can get so anxious to get what we want that we ignore the reality and wind up feeling worse because the current is so wrong. Patience grasshopper. So now I'm on the hunt for truly romantic films, that may not have that sweeping, 'reunited and it feels so good kiss', but the relationships are based on fundamental compatibilities and genuine affection. Who's with me?!

How is it that time makes us so goddamned nostalgic for things that at the time made us borderline miserable. I just watched a movie with a key scene at Love Parade in Berlin, and when I was there in 2003 the reality reeked of piss and booze, was disorientingly chaotic, and overall juvenile. But I got almost weepy remembering a few special moments, like leading my boyfriend at the time around by the hand because he had just eaten his first pot brownie and was too high to know which end was up. And stopping at a booth to get an airbrush tattoo, picking something fierce and wicked, only to find out later there was mix up and I wound up with a tiny wimpy daisy! The city was turned upside down and it was a bitch to get around anywhere, and when we finally made it home to the artist commune we lived in, the building was partying full blast, inside and out. But we watched a couple of episodes of The Family Guy, made nice hubba hubba, and snuggled until we fell asleep. Guess it was all about love after all.

I was in a LearnIt class all week and yesterday the girl sitting in from of me was on Wikipedia looking up perinium. Perhaps she's a med student. Yeah, that's it.

Why do I torture myself?!

My latest daydream