I talked to my little brother last night! First time in three months. He didn't want to talk at first, but when I told him to give the phone to our sister, theeeeeeen he wanted to chat. He was about to go see the Herbie movie and he was pretty excited. He had just seen a 3-D movie and claimed it was 'awesome'. He's having an okay summer, I sure wish I could nab him and let him stay with me until September. I told him to draw me a picture or write me a letter to give to our brother so he can give it to me when he comes to visit next week so hopefully he'll feel like it. Man I hope I don't have to go three more months again.

What am I 16?

I got drunk and sang karaoke at an office party last night. Need I say more? Ahhhh yes, there's more. How about the fact that the party was actually held in the office, and I don't remember leaving, or how I got home from the Bart station. And I've saved the best for last; I got sick on Bart and had to puke in my backpack. I'm sure I was soooooo discreet.

It figures on a day at work when I'm going to be busy non-stop, and trying to time manage down to the minute, that a co-woker would bring in a bouquet of the one flower I freaking allergic to. Yes, a headache is exactly what I needed to complete my day.

"If we want to be the best, we have to have the best. Missy's the poo. So take a big whiff"
- Torrance Shipman in Bring It On

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Days like today, I swear to God a hysterectomy sounds like a fucking dream. Last month my period was a week late so I wound up with two weeks of PMS, and now this month I've got symptoms over a week early. I hope like hell Aunt Flow comes early because I won't have any friends left if I have to fell this hormone surge much longer. My boobs are so sore, they ache when I'm sitting still! And I don't have jugs people, ta-tas at best! The world is sandpaper and I'm going to SCREAM!!!!!!

Reese Squared

Yesterday I had lunch with Reese Williams. No, I didn't sit in a cafe all by myself, I actually met another Reese Williams. He's a he, and he lives in Hawaii. He emailed me last year when he tried to buy the domain reesewilliams.com and found my site. We've corresponded sporatically since, and while he's in town for a few weeks we decided to finally get together. He seems like a great guy, and now I'm cool enough to have a friend with the same name!

Va Bene!

I started my new Italian class last night and it rocks! Only 10 students in the class and my teacher is hilarious. Plus I'm taking it with a friend so I have a built in study buddy. Augurimi la fortuna!

Don't look down, don't look down!

So I went to Harbin Hot Springs for the first time last weekend. Uhhhh, okay. The setting is beautiful, and while I love the idea of an Earth loving, all-natural hippie commune, the reality of it was crunchier than stale Grape-Nuts. I enjoyed myself much more when I just wandered about through trails alone and napped at our campsite; I didn't much dig the pool areas. I'm not a prude and I'm not modest, but the number of foreign peni was overwhelming. One of the hot tubs was so overcrowded and luke warm that I dubbed it 'People Soup'. I just don't trust a hot tub that's not hot enough to kill everything if you know what I mean. I was also faced with a sight that I've trying my whole life to avoid; red pubic hair. I can't explain it but men with red hair have always made me feel a little unsettled and the idea of seeing their private region was more than I cold bear, but Sunday afternoon a red head was bearing all at the cafe and I came face to groin with his burning bush. Cripes, orange pubes, ick! Over all it was nice to be in the woods, play in the creek and spend two days with good friends.

Hell if I know!

I have a friend coming to visit in a couple of weeks and we're going to a Giant's game. Last night on the phone she asked who the Giant's would be playing and I said I thought I remembered from the online schedule that it was the Kansas City Chiefs. I'm sure you already know that it would probably be pretty difficult for a football team to compete against a baseball team.

Good Times

Here are some photos from Friday night, a friend's birthday celebration at Medjool. This place is so slinky and hip, I love it. And the food was stellar, I can't wait to go back!

Shut Up! Shutup Shutup Shutup Shutup Shutup SHUT UP!!!

I just realized what exactly it is about cell phones that make me want to kick users in the shin real hard. First, here are a few reasons I was already fed-up with public yammering.

Could it be any ruder to continue your conversation with Cathy Babbles-a-Lot on the phone even while interacting with friendly counter people? We complain that customer service has gone down the crapper and then we show so little respect to those serving us, we don't even give them our full attention for less than five minutes. No one wants to hear about your boring day of endless meetings because, you just said it, THEY'RE BORING, and if they're boring to sit through, that's right Einstein, it's even worse hearing about them involuntarily!

And how fucking dangerous is it giving the person blabbering in your ear about what's-his-name more attention than cars and pedestrians on the road while driving? I can't count the number of times a car has rolled into a crosswalk, swerved into my lane or just blown through and intersection all together, and as I pass I see there's a shitty piece of plastic infused to their goddamn heads. And don't even try to tell me ear buds make a difference. If your attention is on the conversation, it's not on the road.

And finally, if I have to be audibly bullied by your gossipy conversations while confined on a bus or BART, I just wish I could hear BOTH sides of the conversation. Who? Who? Who did they catch her with in the laundry room with? And what is he keeping from her until after their vacation? Inquiring minds want to know! At least with a couple of loud talkers you can pass the time by eavesdropping.

But it dawned on me today what the real irritation is for me; that people are filling the air with their hollow words and generating useless energy. I know that thought alone is a powerful thing and people are emanating an energy whether they're shouting about tonight's dinner plans or not, but sound carries and resonates, and most conversations I hear could SURELY wait until they got their asses home. And yes, it's a given that when you're in public you subject yourself to the myriad of lives converging in close proximity, but at least before people thought they couldn't spend a single minute alone with themselves and decided to use every spare moment chatting idly about absofuckinglutely NOTHING, you could walk down the street with your own thoughts, observing, embracing or rejecting the kaleidoscope of energy swirling around in close proximity.

Now I'm just forced to listen to, "Well I want to talk to you about something else as well but I'm not really comfortable discussing it on a crowded bus", hee-hee-hee laugh, giggle, snicker. No, no, no, don't hang-up now! You're just getting to the good stuff. I just had to sit through fifteen minutes of little Billy's throw up incident, and how great you though Blade 3 was. Please, please, please at least carry on about something that will satisfy my impertinent little mind. Although impertinent is highly debatable when someone is screeching about their dope new, car-stealing, prostitute-killing video game at the top of their lungs in a 30 square foot space.

And I don't feel hypocritical at all admitting that I am a cell phone owner. I have no objection to the concept at all. I have mine for emergencies, coordinating rendezvous, my lonely grandma in Illinois, and the painfully rare possibility that I might get the chance to talk to my nine year-old brother who lives in Virginia. The most you'll hear from me is a hushed, "I'm out of the tunnel, pick me up at BART", or a non-intrusive, "I'll call you back in a minute, I love you Grandma". But most usage I encounter appears to be a pathetic crutch. I mean, it's not like it can be a status symbol anymore, everyone has one. Hang-up and listen to the birds. Listen to the rhythm of traffic. Smile at passers-by. Slow down and absorb your surroundings or get lost in thought. But stop bumping into people because you’re so engrossed in a selfish monologue. Just shut UP already!

Place your bets!

I swear my body chemistry is a Crap shoot. Some nights I can drink enough to kill a small child and still act like I have some sense, and other nights, yes, like last night, I have one drink and I'm pawing everyone like the town whore. I don't mind being a bit giddy and flirty, but I was slurring and losing my balance for Christ's sake.

I started off at a small Cinco de Mayo house party with my friend Melody where we ate killer tacos and wacked a pinata. Then I headed over to Levende Lounge where I was a Dance-a-thoner at a fundraiser for Room to Read. Rumor has it we raised $10,000! That's going to send four girls to school from kindergarten through high school.

Doing Good Feels Good! Bending over when you have a hang-over does not feel good.

Originally uploaded by qr.

It won't be long and this little guy will be flying away all on his own

A co-worker told me the printer was giving an error message regarding the trickle bottle. I mistakenly relayed the message as 'the tickle box needed servicing'. Well mine does at least!

A Day in the Park

It's pure punishment that I was volunteered by my boss to entertain/baby sit the kids who are going to be in our office this afternoon for the "Bring your kids to work day" the day after a big company event that involved scotch and beer. "Pipe down kid, your Auntie Reese is hung. Now be a good little girl and go fetch me a pack of menthols and some Tums. What do I look like an adult? Just because I'm taller than you doesn't mean I'm more Reeseponsible, now move, I gotta go find a toilet"! (this was part of an email exchange I had with a friend today when discussing my pain)

I took four boys to a park in the middle of downtown San Francisco at one in the afternoon. Age six five, and two that are 3 and a half. It didn't hit me until we got to the park that they only knew me as Bouncy Girl (a nickname one of their Moms, my boss's boss, gave me). I didn't bother correcting them; the less they know the better. They were pretty unruly and my baby fever has officially recessed into the negative.

Sono Italiano

Ever since I met my biological father just over a year ago and learned that I may be part Italian and Native American, I've been trying to get some relative's names to do research. I'd love to have an Italian passport youknowwhatI'msaying. Well it hasn't been easy. Tom (bio-dad) has had major computer issues so he doesn't get to email as much as he wants, and he's had the wrong phone number for me for the past four months. And apparently the person in the family who would have the information is getting old and her memory isn't so good. I figured I'd have to go to courthouses in Illinois and start with Tom's name and work my way back, but yesterday when I got home from work, there was an email from Tom with names! So one of my Great-Grandmothers was Natalia Bonn from Austria, and my Great-Grandfather was Antonio Turra! Tom said his Aunt who gave him the names might even have an original copy of their marriage license! That makes it so much easier to locate birth certificates. This is a fantastic lead, but I do have another obstacle. I have to look into proving Tom as my father since he's not on my birth certificate. Ah well, good thing I love investigating.

Kids really do say the darndest things...

I was sitting in the back seat with my friend's sons Jazzmo (6) and Shoogie (2) when Jazzmo started a play on words that eventually made it's way to BOOBY. He bgan staring at my chest and as he had his finger up his nose he queried "You don't even got boobies do you"?

An A for Effort

Saturday night at a charity party at the DNA Lounge, with the worst music EVER, Abby and I gave a valiant effort to dance and mingle anyway. I spotted a guy who I had flirted with at the Jell-O wrestling party a while back. I wasn't terribly attracted to his face, but his body was amazing however, Eloise just told me was only 23, and watching him dance on stage like it was MTV's Spring Break, I was getting the impression he certainly acted his age.

So at one point he's standing next to me and he starts talking to me and I remind him that we've already met and he starts to fill in the blanks. "Oh yeah, but you wore your cowboy hat all night, you changed your hair, or I guess your hair was like this just under the hat. You're lucky I like short hair". Oh well thank GOD! I was beginning to think I was going to die an old maid because I decided to strip myself of my 'femininity'. I AM lucky you came along! Jockstrap.

All in all I had fun laughing and chatting with Abby and Eloise and a couple of guy pals of hers. I'm glad Abby wouldn't let me stay in my comfortable shell on the sidelines. Who in the world would have thought I could be a wallflower, but the longer I go without a date the more removed I feel. I'm going through a little bitter phase at the moment. But thanks to Abby I did have two great revelations last night: one is that I may not be flirting as much as I used to, but it's because I don't have the need for men to show interest if I'm not interested. And two, I need someone who is my social equal. Not class, but outgoingness. My last boyfriend was very sweet and funny in private, but I love men who are sociable and playful in public.

Regina's Top Five from the Orkut Party:

5) My two self-insights

4) Making Abby laugh hysterically in the bathroom because I knew all the words to Freaks of the Industry by Digital Underground

3) Being "Lucky" enough to run into "Mick" again

2) Talking my way into the club b/c we weren't on the list

1) Witnessing Abby's brief lesbianesque interlude on the dancefloor

Bonus: The gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, GAY paid dancers

It's a Boy!

Hell it could be a girl, I don't know. Manu's four little eggs hatched but right now they're just tiny fuzzy blobs with the occasional beak poking out. Once they take shape I'll post photos.

Wednesday I learned that my sister in-law and niece are attending a wedding in Napa on the 30th of this month, and so they’re staying with me until the 2nd! I'm thrilled to play host to my new-found family, but does anyone know how badly timed this is? The new season of The Family Guy premiers Sunday night at 9pm. "Yeaaaaaah, I know you came all the way out here from Illinois and all, but I have to go watch cartoons with my friends". And I can't really invite them along. There are acts involved in The Family Guy ritual that severely Christian Midwest in-laws just don't need to be a part of. EVER! And then there's the show itself! Despite my personal view, I doubt others would be so amused if my very well behaved six year-old niece went back to little old Collinsville exclaiming, "Damn it to the bloody bowels of hell"! after a visit with Auntie Reese.