March 11, 2005

Fee Fee I love you!

I babysat tonight and boy did I get lucky, she was delightful. She's eight months old, and only got mildly fussy when she started to get sleepy. We played with her toys on the floor, we went for a nice walk around the neighborhood, she entertained herself mostly and then she finally conked out in my bed. This itty bitty yet super chubby little person curled up in the middle of my bed on a pile of blankets; I was overwhelmed. It really dawned on me that when you have a baby of your own, you're always around it. I mean, I can say that I love kids and that I'm completely comfortable with them, and that my body has baby fever, but your life as you know it is over. Not necessarily in a bad way, just polar opposite. Is anyone ever really prepared for that?

Some days I think that the longer I'm single and the more my single-type behavior and lifestyle is engrained into my being, that I may seriously not want to make that sacrifice. Other days I know that all of the things I enjoy as an individual are replaced with amazing experiences that are shared with Mommy and baby.

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