October 08, 2002

Reader's Response to The Disclaimer Part 2

-I think anytime you fall in love, or simply invest yourself into a relationship like that, it enriches you as a person. It might really, really hurt for a while, but in the end, when you come out the other side, you're a fuller person. And, maybe if you don't stop hurting after the person leaves, it means that you need to move heaven and earth to go be with that person. The only real word of warning would be that it's really easy to idealize a 4 month relationship after the fact. You're usually still in the honeymoon period; cute little habits that would *really* annoy you after a year, are still cute. Also, more fundamental issues (like communication) can be easier to gloss over when you think it's only going to last 4 months. So, it's also really easy to look back and think that was the best relationship you ever had -- it may have been really intense, and full of great passion, but it also didn't have the chance to really mature. For me, that was actually kind of the hardest thing about it being over, all the might have beens, this whole "it's not you or me or the relationship, it's just the world."

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