October 14, 2002

Moody Blues

They're still here and I can't shake 'em. I'm really hoping it's because I was sick all last week and I still have to bounce back, but it's quite frightening to me when I'm used to the sunny side of things and now the only thoughts going through my head are my "issues". We all have them, and I I've always prided myself at having a great hold and control over my priorities and my mental health. But lately I'm frustrated with the negative energy that's surrounding me. I always feel better when I write or talk about things, and it's usually just pre-menstrual, but I've filled pages and friends ears, and my mood has not lifted. I tried making my 'Things to be thankful for" list, but for every positive aspect, it seemed like three "needs to be worked on" items popped into my train of thought. I'm alienating friends and bringing down morale at the office. I feel all around bitter and for absolutely NO good reason. I'm going to talk to a professional soon. It's scary, not because I feel defeated, I'm very pro-therapy, but because I have no idea what we'll uncover. When your seemingly happy, always the one with a smile, and then within days you fell like Eeyore, you know there's trouble. Could be something as simple as the pill that I've recently started, wouldn't that be nice. Thanks everyone for listening to me blubber this last week, hopefully there's some relief coming soon!

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