The Vamps are Champs!!
I was Anita Lay, part of the crowd pleasing Roller Derby Team mentioned in the article. Of course I spent most of the night with my skates slung over my shoulder because I SUCK at roller skating, but I just told people that the REF through me out of the game because of excessive force. Pat MyAss showed up at half-time, and despite her lack of uniform still joined in huddles and pretended to clothesline teammates Amanda Love, and Fonda Dicks. My personal highlight of the night was crashing against a restaurant window while diners inside squealed with excitement as we engaged in a faux knock-down drag out pile-up. The REF hurried over and blew his whistle, but before he could make a call, he lost his balance and found himself kissing the sidewalk.
I don't know how in the HELL I flew down hills and around corners on skates as a kid. My excuse, er....um reasoning for my poor dispay of roller coordination, is that the wheels on the skates were too loose. I'll have to remember the skate key next time!