What’s a Night Out Without a Theme?
So back in November my co-worker friend and I decided to start our Turkey Day vacation with a bang by going dancing at Minna and then going to see Lords of Acid at the Fillmore. Initially the theme was “Rockstar”, like larger than life clothes, obnoxious sunglasses, and passing remarks about cocaine and musicians. My friend had on black boots, blue jeans, a $3.40 Mission find black t-shirt with a Precious Moments girl and a caption that read “I may not have much, but with God I have it all”, and to top it all off, a blindingly gold jacket made by designer Comme des Garcons. I donned brown boots, brown crushed velvet/some sort of animal hair pants, a white button up shirt that provided full view of my nipples, and a lovely pair of J.Lo-esque sunglasses with pink lenses. I even feathered my hair.
Once inside Minna, our characters came alive. Somehow, very early on, we became Eurotrash Rockstars. We used terribly muttled accents, we said ‘fuck’ a LOT, we pushed people, we were loud, and we kept our sunglasses on indoors. Many people approached me saying that the magnetism of myself and my friends drew them in. I had boys asking if I would just stand next to them so they would look cool. My partner in crime would occasionally tell the boys to stop looking at my breasts because “They are to give baby life not for lust” in a bad, bad accent. I had the opportunity many times to look boys up and down and snobbily declare, “I do not sink so” when they would ask for my number. A couple of hours of insolence, and we headed out for Round 2 of debauchery with The Lords of Acid.
The posse was a bit peckish so we made a bee line for the Fillmore Café where they serve, no exaggeration, the best burgers in the universe. We were still in character when the counter person brought our food over and we decided to be silly and tell the guy “Fuck you good burger”! and give him a thumbs up. You know, as if we didn't’t know the proper American exclamation for approval of something. The counter man was less than enthused. He said he didn't appreciate the foul language and gave us terrible stink eye as he went back into the kitchen. Let me get this straight. We’re at The Fillmore. To see The Lords of Acid. What’s wrong with a little good humored cursing? I had had a couple of brews and I took it upon my self to be the peacemaker. I walked up to the counter and asked if he was serious or just pulling our leg. With an expressionless face he answered that we was highly offended and that if I continued he would have me removed. I walked back to the table and mumbled under my breath, “Don’t be a dick ALL your life”. I relayed the message to the table and I was starting to get a little riled up when my friend says “Okay I’m going to break it down”. “How old do you think the guy is”? I said “I don’t know mid-thirties”? To which he answered “Exactly”! “And he serving food at The Fillmore”!
Now we’re down on the floor, mingling with the crowd and a cute boy with great nostrils starts chatting me up. I’m on my dating strike, but I can participate in innocent conversation right? I ask the guy where he likes to go out and he says he likes Bondage-A-Go-Go and The End Up. I thought he was flirting with me, but as you SF natives know, those are gay clubs, so I ask him if he likes boys or girls. He said that he likes girls, but that the music at gay clubs is just so much better. He says he has to beat the boys off with a stick, but it’s worth it. So I’m thinking okay, he not a homophobe, right on, and he really likes dancing, sounds good. Not too long after, I actually SEE him dancing and any attraction that could have developed left quicker than a frat boy on a dry campus. He danced like a flaming bottom! I wish I could find a video clip to give you an idea of how effeminate we’re talking, but just ask me the next time you see me and I’ll demonstrate. So I casually wander back over to my band of truly gay boys, ditching gay straight boy, and he happens upon us moments later. I excuse myself to the powder room and when I get back, the boys tell me they’ve invited him to join us at The Stud after the show. They were only trying to help, they obviously hadn’t seen him dance. Once at The Stud my pain became clear to the rest of the group. After dancing for about thirty minutes he shuffles over to our group and while holding his hair back and fanning himself like Scarlet O'Hara declares “Whooo, I’m overwhelmed”! “He’s even too gay for us” one of my friends exclaimed. I stayed for about an hour or so, conveniently heading towards the bar or powder room when the gay straight boy came into view. I found out a couple of weeks later that after I left he made out with a guy on the dance floor. Anyone up for theme night?