January 07, 2003

And now the post you've all been waiting for.........It all began at 8:30 in the morning, and ended way too late. So without further ado........my prize post.......

The 16 Hours of Christmas

In the first hour of Christmas my good friend gave to me, a make-shift bloody mary.

In the second hour of Christmas I had a bite to eat. A tiny piece of bunt cake, and another make-shift bloody mary.

In the third hour of Christmas we opened all of our gifts. I got a picture frame, I gave away soap, and had another bloody mary.

In the fourth hour of Christmas I had a little weed. Drunk dialed the family, ran to the market, began drinking screwdrivers, and ran around in our jammies.

In the fifth hour of Christmas we were visited by friends, and draaaank mooooore booooze. Supervised the stew, played holiday music, took some naughty pix, and got ready for the party.

In the sixth hour of Christmas we arrived at our friend's place. Draaaank moooore booooze, played with spin art, gabbed gabbed gabbed, nibbled on the goodies, and ran around like wild monkeys.

In the seventh hour of Christmas I discovered Champagne punch. We opened all our presents, draaaank moooore booooze, I got a little purse and a book, I gave away soaps, and I got some aromotherapy.

In the eighth hour of Christmas we welcomed more guests. Tried to play Cranium, had a drunked jam session, draaaank moooore booooze, danced around like nuts, ate yummy biscuits, played with our new stuff, all the while in our jammies.

In the ninth hour of Christmas we discussed circumcision. Hung out on the balcony, hollered in the halls, draaaank moooore booooze, had drunken heart to hearts, received strange calls from boys, refilled my solo cup, and had sore cheeks from smiling all day.

In the tenth hour of Christmas we rolled around on the floor. Celebrated a new engagement, painted an ass with HO HO, played on the keyboard, stuffed toys in our pants, discussed where we like to be kissed, draaaank moooore booooze, shared our thoughts on "grooming", flashed in our p-jammas, and thought about going to a bar.

In the eleventh hour of Christmas some of us took off. Drove by The Stud, drove by The End Up, found The Shotwell open, draaaank moooore boooze, I discovered Chimay, played the longest game of pool ever, and livened up a bar on Christmas night.

In the twelfth hour of Christmas we flirted with an Irish lad. Played more pool, picked at a day old turkey, smoked like chimneys, draaaank moooore booooze, giggled non-stop, tried to hold our booze, argued with a Mexican, and peeled layers off as we finally got warm.

In the thirteenth hour of Christmas we saw a gay Puerto Rican’s penis. Danced to 80's rock, bonded with my friends, draaaank moooore booooze, pledged ourselves as Hindus, played pool with the Mexican, and ordered ourselves another round.

In the fourteenth hour of Christmas we started to feel the pain. I had a heart to heart with the Mexican, tried desperately to articulate, draaaank moooore booooze, flashed my festive undies, got reprimanded by the bartender, thought about going home, and asked each other when it all went wrong.

In the fifteenth hour of Christmas we met Zack. Tried to determine if the Irishman was gay or straight, draaaank-you know, made big party plans for next Christmas, thought about going home, and asked each other when it all went wrong.

In the sixteenth hour of Christmas we went to the Irish guy’s flat. Searched the place for liquor, remained close to the exits, staaaarted toooo yaaaawn, kept quite for the sleeping roomie, drilled Zack about his girl, and finally drug our sorry asses home!