"Blame it on the rain"
-Milli Vanilli

Yes, I have a few questions surrounding last night's events.

#1 Who's idea was it to paint the town red on a Thursday, before 10PM, during a hellacious storm?

#2 Exactly how many clubs did we pop into only to find that we were the only ones there?

#3 Why, oh why, in God's name, did I flash a gay doorman at a gay bar? He did let my friend in free for the stunt, yes he let the person with me in for free, and not the mad flasher, but what in the hell prompted it?

#4 At what point did I decide that 8oz. of vodka would mix well with four generous glasses of red wine?

#5 How did I bruise my left brow bone, and were there any witnesses?

In my defense, a night is certain to doom when Christina Aguilera's "Dirrrty" is your theme song. I did purchase a lovely pair of vintage earrings at charity event, there were no boys involved throughout the whole escapade (in part to everyone staying at home because it WAS STORMING!), and I was passed out by 10:30PM. I woke up at 3:30 in the morning on my sofa, still in my clothes including the boots, with the remote in my hand. Real classy like.