Read between the lines

I am officially Wells Fargo's bitch. But it's good. Tons of great perks and I like who I work with; just an adjustment not being a free agent anymore. My boss asked me to write a little blurb about myself that she can use in a 'New Team Member Accouncement' thing.
Reese [who hails from the quintessential white-trash upbringing and a background in video stores and surf shops] fled from Virginia to California in 1998 where she rocked the commercial real estate world [and tolerated the belligerence and chauvinism of the middle-aged white man] as a Revenue Coordinator for Grubb and Ellis until 2002. She then applied her outstanding project management skills to the Interior Designer circuit for two years [catering to the whims of spoiled coke addicts] as an Office Manager/Expeditor. She came to us almost two years ago after spending six months traveling to Hawaii and throughout Europe [blowing a small inheritance while chasing a man around the globe].