A gift from my talented sister

My Eyes Are Burning

I know I've been surfing the Craigslist job listings too long because I'm starting to seriously entertain those egg donor ads.

I'm Afflicted

Thank the Lord there's help.

I don't care HOW proud you are of your astrological symbol, it is NEVER okay to have crabs on underwear!

Priorities

Most people around me are nervous about the fate of their employment with the merger of Wells Fargo and Wachovia, but I what I want to know is, 'Will the new marketing manager will let us wear jeans on Fridays?'

Nature is so divine

FANTASICAL

I was out at Norton's Vault for a co-worker's going away. I was really going to miss this person. I drank a bit of scotch. I was introduced to a man whose name I had seen on paperwork around the office but hadn't actually met. Recently I was reminded of that exchange.

Co-worker professionally: "Hi I'm Mr. Wee."

Me as if I've known him forever: "Heeeyyyyyyyy, I see your name on dockets all the tiiiiime, your name is onomatopoeia!"

Co-worker as if I hadn't spoken English: "I'm sorry?"

Me as if I'm a one woman foley department: "You know, when words are spelled like they sound, like POP! BANG! BOOOIIINNNG! Yours is WEEEEEEEEEEE! It's fun!"

Co-worker completely unamused: "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Last year I discovered I had a fan base in Sweden. Okay, maybe it was only one reader, but they do read regularly so I'd say they're a fan. I've been exposed to more Swedish cultural gems lately so I must include this in my Swedish top ten. So who's getting bumped? Sorry, Europe but this is your Final Countdown.

People get creative when they're in a bind.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh happy day, we're finally on the right track. The air seems cleaner. The spring is back in my step. Sometimes it doesn't even have to be the execution of a major change to make a shift, only the collective hope, faith, optimism and possibility of what's to come. No doubt this IS, in fact, a major change, but it began with only the suggestion that we aspire to something greater that set it in motion.

A few weeks ago I was talking with a cab driver about the state of the union and he reminded me how great our country really is. And it wasn't in a blindly loyal or superior way that I'm used to hearing. He noted we are the only country who has successfully existed with so many races and cultures blended together for over 200 years; and I agree. It may be slow going but we're continually moving forward and evolving towards equality. The cabbie added for humor that the U.S. even has an organization to save the tadpoles. How great is a nation where people are even supportive of polliwogs!

It just doesn't stop being funny to me

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused, fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

Ask not what your country can do for Jew....

Spread the word.

Another Sarah Palin zinger

Juvenile yes, but it still made me chuckle.

I'm proud to be an artist

A little giggle material for you in the middle of the day. And there's more!

Man, nothing will motivate you to clean, organize and redecorate your room like a pile of homework. I now have the most aesthetically pleasing bedroom I've ever had and I'm two weeks behind in my textile class. I needed beautiful surroundings to inspire me to create beautiful patterns. Yes, that's my reasoning!

And women get labeled as psycho?!

Take a few moments and enjoy Dimitri the Stud:Part One and Dimitri the Stud:Part Two

I’ve always believed that females were much more perceptive with social cues than men; Hazzah for women’s intuition! I dated a guy like this guy a lifetime ago, and it is equally entertaining and saddening when someone is developing the story without your participation. It amazes me when I meet people who are so self-absorbed and yet still so self-unaware that it’s imperative for them to project based purely on speculation and assumptions rather than accept reality. “It’s human nature to fill in the silence with our own insecurities” (thank you Keen Eddie) ,but sharing them with others, especially the subject of said anxiety is not healthy, effective or attractive. But their ramblings make for great YouTube and Blogger fodder you have to admit.