Love The Shnaaz

So I just found out Tommy Lee has been added to Ozzfest. If I can find a ride I'm totally going after my friend's baby shower. Ohmagod if I get to see Tommy Lee's nostrils in real life, look out! Yes, my favorite part of the human anatomy - the nose. I'm a freak and I know it. I like the way a nose shows character. I love the way nostrils flare when someone is laughing or angry or in bed. Jon Stewart, Pauly Shore, Rupert Everett, Johnathon Schaech, that's what I'm talking about! So the 10 year-old in me has already played the scenario in my head. I'll bump into him backstage. He'll drop Mayte like a bad habit and woo me. I'll decline because of his reckless lifestyle. He'll give it all up for my love and woo me some more. I'll accept. I'll move to L.A. and bear him nostril beautiful children. I'll spend my days on the beach with Tommy, Brandon and Dylan (because he'll have joint custody), and spend my evenings hanging in the pleasure swing in his sex room. Have I revealed too much?