Oy! To Da Bem?

When I last left you, I had a "which cute boy" dilemma. It soon took care of itself. By late Wednesday night I was practically on the verge of eenie-meenie-minie-mo when the Electrician called and said he couldn't make it because he had gotten into a car accident and didn't have a way up to the city. Nobody was hurt, he hit a parked car, after drinking and 'other stuff'. Women's intuition told me it was a cock-and-bull story so he did me a favor really. If it was a lie then that's not cool. If he was drinking and driving, then that's really not cool. So after his phone call I called Saucy to tell her I'd be coming in on the Caltrain first thing in the morning. Shortly after hanging up my phone rang and I thought it would be Saucy, but no, it was cutie beanie (as in the hat not the baby) boy that I had met at Minna just a couple of weeks ago. He and the friend that introduced us were going out for a drink and wanted to know if I'd be up for joining them. Even though I was already in my jammies at my neighbor friend's house steeping a lovely mug of chamomile tea, I agreed. My neighbor friend and her brother went with me too. He was still handsome, but he said 'dude' and 'fuck' quite a bit. I wouldn't mind going out with him when he's not drinking to see if it gets better. He's supposed to call this week.

So Thursday I went down to Santa Cruz and enjoyed the greatest 4th of July of my adult life! I was at the beach house party of Santa Cruz with my film maker friend on the corner of Seabright and Eastcliff and no doubt you could hear us all the way back here in SF, I know you could at least 2 blocks in every direction down there. As I danced on the enormous balcony with about 30 other hooters and hollerers, I shouted to all of the men as they passed "Show me your tits"! After they'd lift their shirts I'd heckle "Are they real"? I danced, and danced, and danced, and even danced a little to a clear sound system with 4-foot speakers pulsating with the energy of great local DJ talent. We partied so hard we blew every fuse in the house. There was a wholesome family picnic going on at the house across the street. A handful of middle-aged adults and small children where a little boy of about 5 kept peeking around the corner of the garage on his tricycle to get another look at what must have looked like the wild monkeys jumping around in their cage like he'd seen at the zoo, and a little girl of about 7 who would prance around and mock us by shaking her hips and throwing her hands up in the air (like she just didn't care). There isn't a fireworks display put on by the city, so as soon as the sun started to go down, the local pyromaniacs came out to play. The beach was covered with spurting flames and thick smoke, but I managed to find my way down to the drum circle and chanted along with the hippies for a few beats before Saucy and I made our way back to her house via bicycle, which is NOT easy after 5 hours of dancing and libations.

Friday I took it easy and stuck around Saucy's house, and I mean eeee-zeeee. I had napped twice by 4pm. Later that night I was supposed to get together with Heavenly Nostrils, but over the course of the evening, all the way until midnight thirty in fact, I became frustrated that he didn't seem to be putting forth any effort to come and see me, so I just went for a comfy dinner at a friend's house. He'd call every couple of hours and tell me where he was, and ask me to join him, but when I suggested he come by my friend's house, or meet us at a local dive for a game of pool, he'd decline.

So Saturday Saucy and I were hanging out on the beach with our new Brazilian friends, when Heavenly Nostrils called and invited us to a pool party. Saucy was game because there would be boy she had met at Super Booty there was well. We tootled on over and o-my-gawd what a shit he was. First he didn't open the door when we knocked for five minutes, even though I had just spoken to him from the damn parking lot, and then he ignored me the entire afternoon. There wound up being about 10 of us there, hanging out in the pool and he'd go inside his apartment, come out with a couple of beers and toss them to the other boys, and sit right down, never asking if we wanted anything. I have to admit that I shouldn't have expected much because this boy is young, young, young, but I was pre-occupied with my lust of the flesh, and ignored the red flags. Saucy was still interested in the guy she was talking to even though he was pretty quiet, she passed it off as shy, and I was getting along with another guy there who was very attentive, (and both were over 30) so we asked those boys out for later that night. We jaunted off and headed out to a friend's bbq with a live reggae band, dogs and kids, a real old fashion bbq, it was sweet. A couple of paper cups of brew later, and we went to meet our dates at the Palomar. Painful. Like a bamboo reed under my fingernail. Saucy's man wasn't shy, he was just mind numbingly boring. Never cracked a smile the whole night. And my guy showed up about 2 feet shorter than I had earlier speculated. He was lying in a lounge chair the whole time at the pool party. I joke to my friend "Damn what did he do, go home wet after swimming and shrink himself in the dryer? He too didn't laugh at a damn joke I threw his way. Okay, I'll rephrase my remarks for my karma's sake. They weren't boring, we just didn't jive, how's that? BUT, their fifth wheel friend who they brought with them, who looks like an even more handsome Chris Isaac, who was also at the pool party, was super cool, and I wound up talking to him the whole night. Yes, I'm already working on an angle to get in touch with him next but I have to be delicate. I was invited to the pool party by one, asked another from the same pool party out for that night, and now I want the skinny on a third pool party attendee? Don't give that look, you have no right to judge!

Sunday Saucy and I made a nice bacon and egg b-fast with our film maker friend and then walked down to play in the sand. I actually swam (I use the term swam extremely loosely) in the Pacific Ocean for the first time. It's cold. A big wave spanked me and I thought I was going to die. After tumbling and sucking in salt water for what felt like an hour, I emerged from my near death experience in an only inch of water. My suit was twisted, my pigtails soaked and uneven. I wanted to believe that everyone on the beach was too busy having fun to notice, but I'm thinking they were just being nice and looked away when I started coughing up sand like a cat does a furball. I walked back to Saucy's feeling defeated by Mother Ocean. I wanted to go home. That's when I found out that I'd be bussing it all the way back to city since Caltrain no longer runs on weekends, and it took me well over 4 hours to get back to Liberty Hall. Pheeeew. You're tired just from reading this post, imagine how I feel. I'm off to my chambers now.

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Pick up line #01: Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go screw.